Confused Seas
by Sea Dragon Dreamer
Summary: A young Fish and Game ranger is forced to choose between her career and the men she's come to love. A fan fic of Deadliest Catch.
1. Chapter 1: Inconvenient Delays

Author's notice: This is my first attempt at writing a fan fiction, based off of Deadliest Catch. I cannot claim ownership of actual people, places, and objects such as those featured on Deadliest Catch, nor do I claim them. All other characters are my own. This story is a product of my imagination that is written just for the fun of it…there are no money or services whatsoever being earned for this story. Thoughts are in italics and with no quotation marks. This is a work in progress, so please bear with me. Constructive criticisms are welcome.

****

"Hey, wait! You can't do that! You have to-will you just stop a moment?" Ashton scrambled to keep pace with the tall, blonde skipper as he strode impatiently back to his boat docked in Dutch Harbor, Alaska. She was hard on his heels as he started up the gangplank and as she went to step aboard, the crewman operating the hydraulic crane called a superstitious reminder: "Right foot, right foot!" Fighting to resist an exasperated sigh, the young Fish and Game ranger stepped aboard with her right foot before taking up chase once again. Following him up the rung ladder to the small wheelhouse deck and into the wheelhouse, Ashton picked up her protests in earnest.

"Captain Hansen, will you at least look it over? I can't let you leave port unless you sign the paper." Ashton swallowed hard as Sig Hansen's dark gaze fixed on her pale face a brief moment before returning to the charts spread out across the tabletop. A tense few seconds ticked by before Sig sighed and glared at the young woman standing defiantly behind his chair.

"Ms. McNeill, I'm busy. I've got gear to store and charts to plot. I already jumped through your hoops yesterday; I've been cleared to go fishing by the guy that was out here. You guys already did your jobs, let me do mine." _Damn, she's a persistent little brat. Got some balls on her for barging on_ my_ boat and into my wheelhouse uninvited,_ he thought with narrowed eyes. Ashton stood her ground despite her pounding heart; the annoyance simmering the captain's dark blue eyes sent chills dancing along her spine.

"This is something that my superiors just brought to my attention first thing this morning. Please, please just sign the paper." Holding out the metallic clipboard with the paper in question secured on top to Sig, the young woman couldn't conceal the trembling in her hands. Grunting in frustration, Sig snatched the clipboard from her hand and, reading the form over quickly, signed the document with a scowl. Thrusting the clipboard back at Ashton, Sig turned back to the charts and barely heard the Fish and Game ranger mutter a soft 'thank you' and retreat back down the ladder. Unable to focus, Sig finally turned to stare out the wheelhouse's large windows and watched Ashton make a hasty departure from the docks.

"She'll be back, you know. They'll find out a way to get her back on board tomorrow." Sig flinched as Edgar's voice broke the silence. Opening his mouth to respond, Sig thought better of it and turned back to the charts. A tense moment of silence stretched between the brothers before Sig slammed his pencil down on the tabletop and turned back to Edgar, who had seated himself on the long bench next to the chest of drawers containing two generations worth of charts.

"It pisses me off, man. We comply with their demands, we keep up to date with their safety requirements without complaint, and then they pull this bullshit on us. We have done nothing wrong. We've followed their rules to a tee but they manage to find a way to delay us." Glancing out of the corner of his eye, he saw Edgar nodding in silent agreement. Edgar caught his elder brother's glance and shrugged a narrow shoulder.

"When she comes back, I'll deal with her. You just worry about figuring out where the crab is this year. With any luck, we can be out of here by early afternoon tomorrow."

****

The crew of the fishing vessel _Northwestern_ worked through the night to finish securing the gear and supplies. By dawn all that remained was to make a final grocery store trip to stock the pantry, freezer, and refrigerator to last the six fishermen and two cameramen an entire Opilio Crab season. While he and his middle brother Norman were attending to this final chore, Sig left Edgar in charge of overseeing the final preparations aboard the boat.

Ashton watched the two TV crewmen finish securing their gear to the deck of the 125-foot fishing vessel across the dock. She sat in the passenger seat of the idling pickup truck and thought back to the previous day's events. She fought back a shiver unrelated to the cold as she stared blankly out of the frosting windshield. When she'd returned from getting Captain Hansen's signature for the obviously bogus notice, her supervisor Jasper had interrogated her at length about the man's reaction. She still wasn't sure why she'd lied to Jasper, saying that the skipper had been cooperative with her. Now Jasper was back at the docks looking for another way to keep the _Northwestern_ in the harbor.

The sudden blast of icy air against her body jolted Ashton back to reality as her door was yanked open. Jasper had to repeat himself and grab at her arm before she understood what he wanted.

"Get your bag and go down into their engine room. See if there's anything that looks broken. If nothing is, break something. But be subtle and be quick. That smart-mouthed brother and his crew will be watching your every move. You botch this one, McNeill, and it'll be the end of your career." Jasper emphasized this last statement with a jabbing index finger into Ashton's shoulder as she slid from the sage green Ford. Slinging her backpack over a narrow shoulder, the young woman jogged carefully over to the _Northwestern_. A tall, lean man with brown hair and goatee stood at the rail with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his blue jeans. He stared down at her with intense brown eyes a moment before leaning over to give her a hand.

"Climb up and I'll show you inside." The flat tone in his voice echoed the disapproval in his eyes and as Ashton braced herself with a foot against the side of the boat, the youngest Hansen brother helped pull her aboard. With a mumbled "this way", Edgar led the young ranger inside and into the galley. Motioning to the galley table, he told her to leave her backpack on the bench before descending into the belly of the boat, pausing only long enough to grab protective earmuffs and shoved them on while going down the stairs. Ashton rushed to follow his lead and nearly bumped into him at the foot of the stairs. Shouting above the roaring sounds, Edgar turned his gaze back to Ashton.

"Don't touch anything! And don't go far." Fear shining in her azure eyes, she nodded in understanding and shoved her hands deep into her jean pockets and studied the equipment surrounding her. She could feel the deck boss's eyes on her as she made her way further into the room and a blush rose in her pale cheeks. The feeling was unsettling for her and she turned back to face him, only to bump into him. With quick reflexes born from years of living on a crab boat, Edgar caught her by the arms as she stumbled backwards. Only when he was convinced she was steady again did he release her.

Despite the momentary panic that flashed through his mind when Ashton stumbled, Edgar couldn't help but grin as her blush deepened after bumping into him. He hadn't meant to frighten her, but he grew uneasy watching her study his engine room as intensely as she was. Gently squeezing past her, he shouted for her to head back up to the galley and followed her as she made her hasty retreat. Closing the door behind him, Edgar shoved his hands back into his pants pockets.

"Well, we pass inspection or what? Are your bosses satisfied now that you guys have seen pretty much every square inch of this boat?" Taken aback by the sharp edge in his voice, Ashton winced and took a step backwards before steeling herself with a deep breath.

"Look, I don't want to be here any more than _you_ and _your captain_ want me here. But I'm just the messenger here. Jasper's the jackass here, not me, so his throat's the one you should jump down…not mine!" She stopped herself, as she was about to say something she would regret later and straightened her back with another deep breath. As an afterthought, she added in a gentler voice, "I'm sorry. This is only my second week on this job, and it's not my fault that Jasper's got a stick up his butt about you guys." Edgar snorted at her description of Jasper's attitude and laughed outright when she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Don't be sorry. My brother and I are just very stressed right now and on a deadline. This guy Jasper jumping up our ass about stupid shit is only making it worse. We need to know that this bullshit, sorry, _crap_ is over so we can head out to the grounds as soon as the last of the gear is loaded." Ashton's brows jerked up as Edgar admitted this, and her surprised mind couldn't create a response fast enough. The two shared a moment of awkward silence; Ashton pushed her hands into the pockets of her forest green Fish and Game jacket and stared at the floor while Edgar simply studied her, taking in her uneasy stance and curly red hair tucked underneath a green ball cap. The sound of his crew entering through the ready room broke the silence, much to Ashton's relief.

Seeing the deck boss standing alone with the ranger in the galley, a smirk crossed Matt's face and an amused glint shone in his dark brown eyes. Nick snorted at his friend's expression and silently shook his head as he squeezed past Edgar into the kitchen. He rescued his breakfast mug from the sink and poured himself a fresh cup of coffee. Stirring in some creamer, he smiled at Ashton's disgusted look and said, "It adds flavor." All four men laughed as she shuddered at the thought. Turning serious, Edgar turned his attention to his crew.

"What the hell are you guys doing in here anyway? Isn't there something you should be doing?" His dark glare went unnoticed by his two longtime crewmen and friends, but the youngest deckhand shifted nervously in his seat. Matt shook his head as he laughed at Jake.

"Nah, all the gear is secured and all we're waiting on is Sig and Norm to get back with the groceries. Unless you meant getting some bait prepped, but – haha! Jake, sit down! I was just kidding!" The blue eyed twenty-eight year old froze as he half rose from his seat. His eyes shifted between his mentor and crewmate as he mentally sized up the situation. Taking advantage of his uncertainty, Ashton piped up.

"I'm actually kind of curious about how the baiting process works. I'd like to take a look, if you don't mind?" Glancing over to Edgar, she felt another blush rise as he turned his glare on her. After a tense, yet brief moment, his gaze softened and he nodded in agreement.

"That's not a bad idea. Jake, go show her how it's done. That'll be one less thing your jackass boss can use against us." Nick and Matt exchanged a confused glance behind Ashton's back as she followed Jake into the ready room, where he paused long enough to pull on a stained Helly Hansen hoodie. As the two stepped out onto the cold deck, he slid a dirty ball cap on to keep his dishwater brown hair from his eyes. For the next hour, Jake showed Ashton the ins and outs of his very first job aboard the Norwegian family's boat. Both talked as Jake worked, unaware of the cameraman silently standing near the rail with a camera trained on them to capture the moment.

"What the hell? What does he think he's doing?" Jacob flinched at the gruff voice sounding right behind his left ear. Turning, he saw the captain standing behind him.

"Shit, Sig! You scared the piss outta me! The kid's just showing her the bait station. Everything else is done so I guess he figured he could get ahead on the bait." At Sig's dark look, Jacob fell silent but kept the camera rolling. Ashton glanced up when she heard the voices and the amusement and laughter left her voice and face.

"Jake, Captain Hansen's back. He doesn't look very happy…" Jake looked over to where his boss and the cameraman stood, his smile fading as he turned back to the frozen herring. In a matter of moments Jake finished stuffing the bait he'd prepared into the bags and with Ashton's help stored the filled bait sacks. When they were done, Sig was gone and Jacob had returned to his on deck cameras. Edgar paused long enough to pass his armload of groceries to Jake and take Ashton by the elbow.

"Help Norman put this stuff away, Junior. I'll take over babysitting from here. Sig wants a word with you in the wheelhouse." Ashton cast a worried glance at Jake's retreating back as Edgar guided her up the deck stairs leading to the wheelhouse. He smiled to himself as she attempted to hide his elder brother's dark glance aimed at her back as she crossed the wheelhouse. Another tall, lean man busied himself with the final adjustments on the fixed cameras and microphones. Ashton focused her attentions to the wall opposite the windows as she half listened to a one sided conversation being held on the sat-phone. Edgar lounged in the chair across the wheelhouse from his brother and half watched Ashton.

Three bodies flinched as Sig slammed the phone against the cradle in a foul-tempered attempt to hang up, catching it as it fell back and slammed it against the cradle again with a foul Norwegian curse as it finally latched against the cradle. Snatching up his pack of cigarettes, he tapped one out and tossed the pack onto the bare dash. With a slight tremble in his hand, he lit the cigarette and the lighter clattered across the dash to join the carton. Sig closed his eyes and took a few calming drags, smoke streaming out his nostrils. Eyes still closed, his voice came out dangerously low.

"We're stuck with her. We're fucking stuck with her."

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Copyright Alissa Franko 2009


	2. Chapter 2: Dishing It Out & Eating It Up

Author's Note: Still figments of my imagination written for entertaining purposes only. All real people, objects, and locations are still obviously not my own, nor do I claim them. Constructive criticisms are most welcome!

****

Grabbing a bait sack and half a cod, Ashton staggered across the deck to the waiting pot. Diving headfirst into the pot, she twisted onto her back and clipped the bait sack to the pot and passed the cod's clip through the netting to Jake's waiting fingers. She slid out just as an icy wave crashed against the rail, sending the ranger-turned-greenhorn sliding under the sorting table.

Sig watched her climb unsteadily from beneath the full table with help from Edgar's hand at her elbow. Although the young woman had been with them for a little over a week, the skipper was still sour about being forced to take her on as a greenhorn. Her supervisor, Jasper Cromwell, had made it all but impossible to refuse. _'Fish and Game liaison' my ass, this is just another way for him to piss me off._

"One hundred-five, one-oh-five." Nick's exhausted voice brought the eldest Hansen from his dark thoughts. He wrote down the count and glanced down at the monitor again before turning his gaze to stare out the large windows before him. His haggard face was briefly illuminated with an orange glare as he pulled deeply from the dying cigarette. Exhaling the cloud of smoke, he glanced over at the cameraman, David, dozing in the chair across the wheelhouse. Taking his glasses off, he scrubbed a hand across his face then back through his thinning blonde hair. He slid his glasses back on and turned to the camera mounted on one of his side monitors.

"She's a good worker, a hard worker. But she doesn't belong out here – not on the Opie grounds. If – _if_ she were going to make a career out of this, which I doubt, I would have started her on Kings. But that prick boss of hers is out to get her as much as he is me, and it pisses me off." During his rant, Sig's attention moved from deck monitor to the radar screen, to notebook and finally the rough seas battering his boat and crew.

Reaching up, he lifted the loudhailer handset and his rough voice echoed into the night.

"Last pot of this string coming up. I want to rebait it and put it back, and then we'll make a run up to our northern spot." Edgar's emotionless 'roger' drifted up to Sig and he grinned for the first time in over a week.

"He doesn't like it when I do this. We're doing okay, but it could be better. I have a hunch that we'll do better a little closer to the ice. We've still got twenty pots on board, so depending on how our northern spot is looking, we'll set them there. By the time we get back down here, these pots should be stuffed."

Down on deck, Ashton staggered back to the bait station as the pot she'd just vacated splashed into the water. Taking the knife from the scabbard at her hip, she sliced into the box of frozen herring and dumped the fish into the grinder. Turning on the machine, she went through the motions of bagging up the ground herring. Her entire body ached, and her brain felt as if it were wrapped in a thick fog. She was barely aware of the crew securing the deck behind her and only became aware of Jake standing beside her when she bumped into him on her way back to the bait freezer. Switching off the bait grinder, Jake took Ashton by the hand and led her into the ready room, where he helped her out of her rain slicker before shedding his. He followed her as she staggered to the galley's wraparound bench and slid in next to Matt. Ashton collapsed next to Norman and immediately rested her forehead against her arms, slipping into a half-hearted doze.

Edgar saw Jake's weary gaze stop on the dozing ranger, and called him out on it.

"Don't get too attached, Junior. We're gonna give her back sometime." Edgar's muddy brown eyes flicked over to the dozing woman sitting kitty-corner from him and the corners of his mouth twitched up into a humorless smile. "We just never said what condition she'd be in when we did." Ashton's ears turned a deeper shade of red as she listened to Edgar's comments and earned a snort from Matt and Nick. Forcing her eyes open, she sighed and struggled to her feet, pulling her slicker and hood over her dripping hair as she stumbled out onto the rocking deck. After a moment, the men heard the bait grinder roar into life. Edgar shook his head and turned to Jacob with his ever-recording camera.

"She doesn't belong out here on a crab boat in the middle of hell." Jacob's strawberry blonde eyebrows scrunched together in confusion over hazel eyes.

"You mean during Opilio season?" Edgar shook his head again and cupped his gloved hands around his mouth to light another cigarette.

"I mean she doesn't belong out here period. But if she wants to play this suicidal game Sig and her jackass boss forced on us all, who am I to say otherwise?" An uneasy silence fell between the six men, each conserving their strength for the next string they were about to set. Edgar kept an eye on his protégé, Jake, who sat with hands folded in his lap and the sulky look that appeared when mental and physical exhaustion began taking its' toll.

"Okay, lets turn and burn!" Sig's rough voice boomed over the loudhailer forty-five minutes later and his haggard crew once again fell into their routine with a robotic fluidity that the skipper loved so well. Everyone kept an eye on the greenhorn as she shuffled across the pitching deck time and time again. Every so often Edgar would yell out at Ashton as she blundered into dangerous situations, or Sig's voice boomed a wave warning over the loudhailer. By the time the twentieth pot hit the water, the dawn's feeble light struggled to break through the winter clouds and Ashton struggled to choose between a hot meal and her unmade bunk. Passing by the bait station she paused, wondering if she'd prepped enough bait sacks to allow her the luxury of inhaling hot food and a two hour nap.

"Keep moving, Half-Pint. Last thing I need on my deck is a dead greenhorn. Eat something first, and then sleep. The damn bait can wait." Edgar growled sourly as he brushed past her on his way through the door to shed his rain gear. Following suit, the rest of the crew met up in the galley and began shoveling the meal Edgar prepared between setting pots. Norman ignored the dirty glare Edgar shot him and slapped a hearty serving of mashed potatoes onto her plate next to a pile of salted cod. She stared blankly at the steaming plateful of food until Nick shoved a fork into her hand and guided both fork and hand to stab a chunk of fish. The crew chuckled at Ashton as she blinked and shook her head before shoving the cod into her mouth; eyes watering as the hot food burned her tongue she swallowed the morsel and began shoving the food unceremoniously into her mouth without bothering to chew.

"Damn, I guess _somebody_ was hungry. Better slow down, Half-Pint or you'll make yourself sick." A blush turned Ashton's pale cheeks scarlet at Edgar's comment and she half smiled as she swallowed milk to cool her burning mouth before returning to her plate. She kept her head down, aware of Jacob's camera filming her hasty attempt to fill her rumbling stomach, and resumed eating at a slower pace. The sound of heavy footsteps descending the wheelhouse staircase brought her head around with her forkful of potatoes paused halfway to her mouth.

"Mmm, smells good in here. Salted cod, my favorite!" Rubbing his hands eagerly, Sig crossed the galley and joined his crew to the well-earned meal. He'd noticed Ashton's nervous start as he entered the room and he studied her with narrowed blue eyes, taking in the dark circles beneath her eyes. The skipper went back to his meal as the young woman glanced up at him between mouthfuls.

"I'm not gonna pass out on you guys, you know. I just look like it," the redhead mumbled around a mouthful of fish, earning a wary half smile from the deck boss and skipper. She sniffled and wiped a damp and grungy sleeve underneath her nose, looking back down at her plate and frowned in mild disappointment when she realized she'd cleaned it. _Dammit, I'm still hungry too._ Norman snorted as the others chuckled and Ashton froze with wide eyes, suddenly aware that she'd spoken her thoughts aloud.

"Tastes better than it looks, I'll give you that…" Seeing Edgar's brown eyes narrow with a dangerous glint daring her to continue, Ashton's voice trailed off and she bit back a quip about Edgar asking Emeril for help in the aesthetic department. Instead she slid out from her seat and cleared her place before her feet automatically guided her back toward the ready room. Edgar, Jake, and Norman simultaneously barked "_bed!_" at her retreating back and she silently obeyed.

Fifteen minutes later when the crew moved to join Ashton in the staterooms, Jake and the two younger Hansen brothers found her sleeping deeply, still in her damp clothes and shoes. Jake gently pulled her shoes off before tucking her thick blanket tightly around her and brushed her drying hair away from her face before climbing into the bunk above her.

* * *

Copyright Alissa Franko 2009


	3. Chapter 3: Struggling To Hold On

Author's Note: Still don't own any real persons, places or objects (like the Hansen clan and crew, Dutch Harbor, and the _Northwestern_), and still don't claim to. This chapter was really hard to get out for some reason...but I did it. I think. You're gonna hate me, sorry... but I ended on a cliffhanger. Constructive criticisms are most welcome and appreciated, as are reviews. Many thanks to those who've already reviewed!

Edit: For those of you who'd already read and reviewd this chapter, I added a clarifying sentence to the end of the first paragraph. Hopefully this clears up any confusion as to the sequence of events in the beginning of this chapter.

****

Staring out into the icy wasteland, Ashton rubbed her gloved hands quickly together and blew on them in a futile attempt to return warmth to the digits. The midday sun glinted off the ice-choked harbor, causing the young woman to squint against the painful glare. Tearing her eyes from scene before her, Ashton turned from the rail and returned to her position at the bait station. She'd woken fifteen minutes ago from an hour and a half nap after spending the past twenty-four hours helping Matt and Norman monitor the cannery workers offload their two tanks of Opilio crab. Now the Northwestern was headed back out to sea in the hopes of filling her tanks with living white gold.

Twisting in the chair to glance out the wheelhouse door as the bait grinder came to life, Norman frowned in mild annoyance. _What does she think she's doing now? We won't even be on the grounds for another ten hours, and it'll be another fifteen before we get to where set our first string. The idiot should be sleeping…or at least eating something._

Although he didn't share his brothers' outright distaste for having the ranger on board as a greenhorn, Norman didn't like the circumstances that brought her aboard. He listened to the grinder gnaw the frozen herring into malleable bits for twenty minutes before silence enveloped the boat once again, broken only by the engine's soft purr, the gentle slap of waves against the hull.

Ensuring the boat remained on course, Norman quietly shut the wheelhouse door behind him to avoid waking the sleeping cameraman sprawled on his wheelhouse floor, and went down on deck to check up on Ashton. Her back was turned to him as she shoved handfuls of bait into the sacks and cinched them tight, securing the tops like Jake taught her that first day. Arms crossed over his chest, Norman stood beside her and silently studied her work. She glanced up at him, her hands slowing as she studied his bearded face.

"Keep going, I just want see how you're doing." Emphasizing his words with a rolling hand, Norman's sunglasses blocked the expression in his dark brown eyes. Trying to ignore Norman's presence, Ashton resumed her pace and soon she lost track of time. After a brief moment of watching her work, Norman smiled faintly and gently patted her back in approval as he made his way back up into the wheelhouse.

****

"Watch yourselves…" Sig's warning trailed off as a thirty-foot wave crashed against the starboard bow and along the length of the starboard rail, drenching the crew as they scattered across the rolling deck. Once again, Ashton found herself on the flat of her back looking up into Edgar's face before he hauled her unceremoniously to her feet. A shy, yet sad smile twitched on her lips as she murmured a quiet 'thank you' to his already retreating back. Jacob's voice yelling over the roar of the storm brought Ashton back to reality.

"You crushing on him, or what?" Jacob laughed at her shocked reaction; Ashton's eyes widened and she shook her head as she made her way back to the bait bin.

"No. What? God, no! He's the _boss_, well, the _boss's_ brother at least. Why would I be crushing on _him_?" She couldn't keep the sarcastic emphasis from her voice each time she mentioned the word 'boss', knowing every man on deck could hear her words. The woman knew that the crew disliked her, or at least what she represented, and she resented their jibes and hazes that seemed worse than any other greenhorn would be forced to endure. Although she kept her mouth shut and just worked through the hell they put her through, she couldn't help but release some of the pent up anger whenever Jacob questioned her about it. Despite the animosity she felt for the captain and his crew, she'd grown fond of the boat during the two and a half weeks she'd been aboard the Seattle based vessel. As she dove into the waiting pot and hung the bait, she met Jake's gaze and he flashed a quick grin before stepping back to grab the shot at his feet.

Ashton slid from the pot and helped Edgar to secure the door before stepping back to watch the pot lift up and slide off the launcher into the ocean. Returning to her station for another bait sack, she watched Edgar, Matt, Nick and Jake sort the table filled with Opilio crabs. She knew Norman had remained behind the controls, and Jacob stood in the middle of the deck to get everyone save Norman in the footage. As the next set of buoys appeared on the starboard bow, Matt sent Sig the count and the others readied themselves to repeat the process. The pot crashed back into the Bearing Sea as a wave came crashing over the port shelter, sweeping the crew from their feet. The boat listed on her starboard side for what felt like an eternity before another wave righted her and Sig's concerned voice broke through the crew's ringing heads.

"You okay down there?" The skipper watched his crew climb unsteadily to their feet between glances through the large windows as he began jogging into the violent waves. A bad feeling settled in his belly as he saw his brother lay there unmoving on the battered deck, a dark trickle running across the unconscious man's forehead. The heavy sorting table lay on it's side, crab scattered across the deck. Watching Ashton kneel hesitantly at Edgar's side near the upended sorting table, he demanded a status report.

"We're fine…Edgar took a blow to the head, but Ash is working on reviving him. We're all fine though." A tremor in Norman's voice gave away his lie, and Sig cursed loudly in both English and Norwegian. Sitting across the wheelhouse, David wisely held his tongue and focused on repairing the camera that had crashed into the wall.

Nick, Matt and Jake scrambled to sort the remaining crab and shove them into the hold before securing the deck while Norman and Ashton carried the unconscious Edgar into the stateroom he shared with his brother, Jake, and Ashton. While Norman held his brother, Ashton struggled to get the deck boss out of his soaked clothing and into something dry and warm. Norman pulled down Edgar's blankets before heaving him into his bunk as Ashton hurried to bring back the closest first aid kit. Returning moments later, she yanked off her slicker and hoodie as she knelt down next to Edgar's head. Donning latex gloves, she began tending to the nasty looking gash and bruise across his brow and down one temple; she barely heard Norman excusing himself to inspect the engine room.

Ten minutes later, Ashton stepped out of the stateroom with her and Edgar's raingear and boots in her grip. She returned the gear to the ready room and when she joined Jake and Jacob at the table, Jake reached across to squeeze her hand. Wincing, she tried pulling her hand from his, but he shot her a firm look filled with concern as he gently probed her hand and wrist. Sharp gasps confirmed his suspicions, and he rose to rescue the first aid kit from the stateroom. Setting it near to hand on the table, Jake unrolled the Ace sports bandage and carefully wrapped Ashton's hand and wrist, securing the fabric with the metal fasteners. She thanked him softly, an appreciative smile mingling with the worry on her face. Matt called Jake over to help him finish preparing the meal and set the table while Ashton went back to check on Edgar.

Glancing at Edgar, his chest rising and falling in a slow yet steady rhythm that marked the only sign of life, she quickly peeled off her damp clothes with a grimace and soft groans. Her entire body ached from being slammed across the deck and into Jake's legs. Grabbing a set of dry clothes at the foot of her bunk, she pulled them on before sitting on the edge of Edgar's bunk. She gently patted his bruising cheek, softly calling his name.

"Edgar? Edgar, I need you to open your eyes. Please? Open your eyes. We need to know you're all right…please? Just for a moment – then you can sleep. Edgar? Please?" Fear filled her voice as tears filled her eyes, both threatening to overcome her. She fought back her fear, but the tears rolled down her cheeks as his hand covered hers and his eyes fluttered before cracking open. Ashton's free hand covered the sobs as Edgar weakly gave her a lopsided grin.

"Jacob _was_ right…you _are_ crushing on me." His voice came out as a hoarse whisper, yet Ashton laughed with relief and wiped her eyes with a sniffle. A soft rap on the door brought her head up quickly and she gently pulled her hand from Edgar's. Matt gently cleared his throat in the awkward silence that filled the room.

"So, um, how is he? He hit the table and deck pretty hard –"

"I was there Matt, standing right next to him. I know how hard he hit…" Guilt filled her expression as Matt winced at her venomous outburst. She looked up at him apologetically and continued more gently, "I'm sorry Matt. I think he'll be okay now, now that I know he'll wake up." Edgar's hand closed around Ashton's again as he whispered softly, "I'm still awake, y'know…" He looked up at her groggily, a wide yawn cracking his jaws and tried to smile convincingly. As he drifted back off to sleep, he heard Ashton whisper 'liar' with a sad laugh. The last thing he felt before the darkness claimed him was his blanket being pulled up over his shoulders.

****

"But he's alright, though? Nothing's broken, no serious bleeding, no wheezing…" Sig's voice trailed off, Ashton's adamant head shaking doing nothing to relieve the anxiety trapped in his chest. She'd told him the extent of his brother's injuries, but he couldn't bring himself to believe that the young woman had told him everything he needed to know. She'd been standing right next to Edgar as the wave swept them off their feet, slamming the deck boss onto the crab filled sorting table. She'd been swept into Jake, and if it weren't for her wrapping her arms around the young man's legs, he would have been pulled over with the rushing water.

Despite saving the life of one crewman, Sig couldn't help but pin his youngest brother's near death experience on Ashton. He glanced at her, standing at the dash with her gaze fixed on the ocean outside. The skipper refused to trust her on deck until Edgar showed more signs of improvement, so he'd called her up to the wheelhouse to assist in locating the buoy bags in the darkness. Sighing, he took a drag of a dying cigarette and forced himself to get a grip. Of the last string and a half, she'd spotted all but the first three buoys. _Damn, she found twenty-one out of twenty-four pots. She's been doing better than I thought. Maybe she deserves more credit than I give her._

Shifting nervously, Ashton glanced over to the skipper in time to see him turning his gaze back out to sea. A corner of her mouth twisted up in a smile as she mulled over the appraising look in his expression. Taking advantage of the silence, she thought carefully about how to frame her answers. She knew the skipper didn't believe her assessment of Edgar's condition and it frustrated her since both Norman and Nick had given Sig the same information she did.

"I swear, Captain Hansen, he'll be fine. He'll be sore and stiff for a while, and his head'll hurt like hell at least until the stitches come out, but I don't think there's any permanent brain damage and I didn't feel any broken bones. There may be some bruised bones, but I don't think there's anything broken." Jake's weary voice interrupted to send up the count and Sig scowled as he wrote down the number. He fixed his fierce glare onto the waves sending freezing spray over the bow.

"I keep hearing you say 'you think', but 'thinking' isn't going to get my brother back on that deck any quicker. In fact, 'thinking' might end up killing him." Rapping his knuckles against the wooden dash, he darted a glare in her direction, and saw Ashton stiffen and color start to spread across her cheeks. Seeing her struggling to formulate a response, he immediately regretted taking his anger out on her. Before he could apologize, however, Ashton managed to get out her response.

"I'm doing the best I can, but I'm not a doctor! He's the one that got stupid; he's the one that moved behind the table, he's the one that nearly got himself killed! Don't blame me for your brother's stupid mistake!" Ashton blinked away the tears threatening to fall and sucked in a ragged breath. She caught sight of the next buoy and was glad for the distraction as she pointed it out. She knew she'd crossed the line by snapping at the captain, but she couldn't help it. Although the rest of the crew hadn't voiced their thoughts while she was within earshot, as Sig had just now, she knew they believed Edgar had put himself in harm's way for her. A quick glance from the corner of her eye confirmed her suspicions for the dead silence: Sig Hansen looked ready to murder.

* * *

Copyright Alissa Franko 2009


	4. Chapter 4: Learning To Laugh Again

Author's Note: Still not claiming any ownership of the _Northwestern_, her crew, or any other people, things/agencies, or actual places in the story, and I still have no desire to. This story is still written for the sole purpose of my and your enjoyment. Constructive criticisms are most welcome, as are reviews. Thanks for reading!

****

Two straight days filled with painfully cold weather combined with the already exhausting work of catching crab and pounding ice was a welcome distraction for the Fish and Game ranger. Although Edgar's injury was healing nicely, the crew's distrust in the greenhorn was nearly palpable. Each time Sig put hauling pots on hold, Ashton vented her frustrations on the rapidly growing blanket of ice coating the boat. While readying the bait, her knife jerked angrily through the cod's flesh and baited the pots as quickly as efficiency allowed.

Now, three days after the wave nearly cleared the deck of all equipment and crew, Edgar was back out on deck. His friends' moods picked up visibly, and even Ashton's chilly demeanor toward the crew began to thaw. Straightening from where he was shoveling ice over the starboard rail, Edgar watched Ashton working on pounding ice from the port railings. He'd watched her as they hauled pots and was impressed with what she'd mastered in just two days. He expected both Jake and Matt to be jealous, stepping up the hazing as she'd improved, but to the deck boss's surprise, both men minded themselves around her. He squinted in the bright sunlight as he glanced over at Matt, frowning at the fading bruise under his friend's eye. Judging by the way Ashton still favored her left hand, Edgar guessed the bruise wasn't a result of the wave.

"Edgar, quit daydreaming and get back to work. That ice isn't going to shovel itself, y'know!" Sig's sarcastic voice caused everyone on deck to flinch. With a toneless 'roger', Edgar went back to the task at hand and tried to push Ashton from his mind. _What's he so pissed off about?_ Edgar wondered sourly, scraping the shovel roughly across the deck and wincing each time the blade caught on the still uneven surface.

By the time the deck was clear enough to continue hauling pots, the sun had set and the temperature fell with it. Sig worked his crew through ten more twenty pot strings and another winter storm before he allowed the over-exerted crew to collapse in the galley. Pulling the first aid kit from the spot Jake shoved it; Ashton pulled her hoodie off and her lengthening red hair into a hasty ponytail. Once again she donned latex gloves and positioned herself at Edgar's shoulder.

"Let me see your forehead, I need to check your stitches." Catching a familiar glint in the deck boss's eyes, she fixed a cautionary stare on him and stepped away. "Don't – you – dare...I know that look – Ahhh!" The crew roared with laughter at Ashton's shocked squeal and her wide-eyed surprise as Jake wrapped his arms around her and, pressing his lips to her neck, blew a raspberry that sent shivers down her spine. Slipping from his grip, she turned and punched him on the arm. As her heart slowly stopped racing, she couldn't help but smile along with the crew at their joke. Wiping her neck, she wiped her gloved hand off on Jake's sleeve with a look of mock disgust and a mouthed 'eww'. He laughed at her again as he slid in next to Matt at the table.

"What the hell's going on down there? Half-Pint killing you, Edgar?" Six men laughed into their coffee mugs at Ashton's reddening ears as Sig descended the wheelhouse stairs. She pulled the gloves off her hands and tossed them into the trash before pouring herself a mug of coffee and returning to stand by Edgar's side.

"No, not yet at least." Edgar spoke into his coffee as he rose to take over the wheel watch. He gave Ashton's shoulder a gentle squeeze, and leaned in to whisper in her ear. Smiling as he saw her blush spread across her cheeks, he rubbed his hand over her head before taking his brother's place at the helm. Thwarted in her attempt to check the man's stitches, Ashton scowled and slid into Edgar's spot. She pulled the scrunchie from her hair and finished Edgar's job of mussing it up before slouching back in her seat. From under her eyelashes she smiled as she watched Jake crack jokes with Nick and Matt, missing Norman smile knowingly into his coffee.

Steaming cup of coffee in hand, Sig joined his weary but laughing crew at the wraparound table. He studied Ashton as he searched for the right words he needed to say. An awkward silence settled over the galley before the skipper started to speak.

****

Alone for once in the wheelhouse, Edgar absently scratched his forehead above the stitches as he attempted to keep the boat on the gentlest route through the rough seas. The crew had just hauled, moved, and reset half the pots they'd set all season, and now he was jogging through yet another squall that was between him and the new set of strings. They were a little less than half way to meeting their quota, and then they could head home to thaw and recover. Hearing footsteps come up the stairs, Edgar glanced over and saw his eldest brother shuffle over to join him.

"Hey, how's the head doing?" Sig asked as he leaned back against the chest of drawers containing the family maps and charts, and folded his arms across his chest. Edgar smiled his characteristic lopsided grin and lifted a shoulder in a casual shrug.

"It still itches like hell, but I guess that's a good thing. Ashton says the cut's healing nicely and there's no infection. When we finish setting the pots, she'll take the stitches out and bandage it." Lifting his left hand, he inhaled deeply on a cigarette and let the smoke out slowly as he slipped back into silence. Glancing over his shoulder at Sig, he laughed at his eldest brother's expression.

"Dude, its not her fault. I made a greenhorn mistake, and I paid for it. So if there's anyone to blame, it _should_ be me." Taking another drag from his cigarette, he shifted in his chair and propped his left foot on the seat, draping his arm over his knee. When the skipper didn't respond, Edgar glanced back at him and shook his head with a bemused chuckle.

"I don't understand it. Why do we hate her so badly? It's obvious she knows we do…but do we even know _why_? I mean, she can't look at you without going white as a sheet and she can't look at me without looking completely guilty. She's not much better around the crew, especially since I got hurt. So what's really going on on this boat? Because _I_ sure as hell don't know and it's only making my headache worse."

As they slid back down into the trough, Edgar turned back to watch what he was doing. Taking a last drag, he snuffed out the spent cigarette and glanced at the plotter. He rose stiffly to his feet and shot Sig a look that was difficult to read as he surrendered the chair to the skipper. Opening his mouth to say something, he changed his mind but then stuck firm as his brother refused to answer.

"Looks like you don't know either. Well, when you do figure it out, let me know, will you? I'm tired of everything around me being pissy." The deck boss turned to head back downstairs and Sig softly called after him, "Hey Edgar? I'm…I know its not her fault. I just, I didn't know what happened to you out there…and I _hate_ not knowing what happens on my boat. It pisses me off not knowing." Edgar's lips twisted into a faint smile, nodding his understanding at his brother as he folded his arms over the stairwell ledge.

"You can't know everything all the time, you know. There are things you just can't control either, and that wave that kicked my ass, that was one of them." He cringed as Sig's dark glare hit him before it softened to an unhappy scowl.

"Yeah, I know. That doesn't mean I have to like it...and it still pisses me off." Edgar shook his head and descended the stairs as his brother lit up another cigarette. Walking into the stateroom he shared with Norman, Jake and Ashton, he changed into warmer clothes before giving his bunkmates a gentle shake to wake them up. Letting them know they were almost on the next string, he flipped on the light as he headed to the other stateroom. Poking his head into the room, he flipped on the light before going to shake is other two friends awake. He met them outside in the half-light of day.

Working in silence, the crew slowly got back into the feel of a six-man team. They'd pulled and reset a string and during the run to the next string, Ashton hurried to set aside ready bait sacks, but paused when Jake eagerly called her name. He waved her over as Edgar dug through the bait for a fresh herring and explained what was about to happen.

"We think somebody forgot to bite the head off the herring at the beginning of the season, which lead to all sorts of funky shit happening to us. So, before we pull the next pot, somebody has to bite the herring." A bright grin lit up his excited face as he stared into her eyes, giggling, as she finally understood whom he meant by 'somebody'.

"You guys want _me_ to stick _that_ into my mouth…?" Her face turned a sickly yellow as she took the fish Edgar held out to her and swallowed hard as he finished her sentence, "And bite off its head, yes. Hey, you're the greenhorn, Half-Pint. _Somebody's_ gotta do it, and you're the only one of us who hasn't done it yet." Ashton looked up at him with confusion in her eyes; whether it was from the affection in his voice or actually claiming her as one of his crew, Edgar wasn't sure but his heart skipped a beat when he met her gaze.

"Is somebody gonna bite the head off that damned herring before we miss the fucking pot or am I gonna have to do it myself…_again_?!" Sig griped as he watched the crew standing around. He laughed as he watched Ashton quickly shove the herring into her mouth and crunch down, gagging as blood and juices spurted out. Holding the handset to his mouth, he held his side as he tried to control his laughing long enough to congratulate her.

"Hahaha. Welcome to the crew, Half-Pint!" He wiped tears of laughter from his eyes and sighed, glancing over at David as he caught his breath.

"That was funny… why we didn't think of that sooner beats the shit out of me. We ought to do something like that again soon. They're smiling and laughing again…" Glancing down, Sig saw Jake wrap his arms around Ashton in a friendly hug as she rinsed her mouth with fresh water, and he smiled again with a chuckle as he continued, "…and joking around. Even Half-Pint looks like she's having a good time." He watched as Nick made room at the sorting table so Ashton could squeeze in and assist in the sorting before the next pot came up. Taking the loudhailer's handset, he called for Edgar.

"At the end of this string, send Half-Pint up. I want to start training her on wheelwatches." His smile never really faded as he listened to Edgar's voice was buffeted up to the wheelhouse, and he silently wondered at the unusual tone in the deck boss's voice. David looked up from the camera and frowned, noticing the change as well and asked, "I wonder what's put Edgar in such a good mood?"

Sig lifted a shoulder in a shrug as he watched Ashton roll from the pot and step quickly away and scratched a grizzled cheek.

"I dunno. He's definitely got a goofy-assed grin plastered on his face. Wait..." Sig's voice faded off as, studying the image of Edgar laughing at something Ashton did, understanding dawned upon him and his blue eyes grew wide in shock. He slowly turned to look back at David, his mouth hanging open slightly as he struggled with the concept.

"Holy shit, I think my brother's in love."

* * *

Copyright Alissa Franko 2009


	5. Chapter 5: A Dream Within A Dream

Author's Note: We see a relationship begin to bloom in this chapter. It killed me to write the last section and I think I put a dent in my oak bookcase from knocking on it so much; hopefully you'll see why. This chapter's title is a portion of a quote by Edgar Allan Poe: "All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." Constructive criticisms are welcome, as are reviews.

****

"Whoo-hoo! We're on the money now, baby!" Jake's excited shouts and whoops drifted through the open wheelhouse window as the pot was lifted above the starboard rail. Sig grinned and stuffed his cigarette into his mouth, grabbing the loudhailer's handset as his crew quickly sorted the keepers from the females and juveniles. Norman gave the count and Sig had to repeat it just to double check his hearing. His eyes lit up as his brother confirmed.

"Oh yeah, come to daddy! We're gonna set everything back until this boat is stuffed!" Edgar laughed as Jake overbalanced in his excitement, landing hard on his butt as the boat crested a wave. Ashton was in and out of the pot as quickly as she could possibly move, sliding into Edgar's arms as the pot was secured and released over the rail. Though the sky was clear and the sun shone bright, the wind was blowing and the seas were high. Despite the roller coaster ride and flying spray, the crew's spirits were higher and the gravelly, metallic grinding of the line straining through the block signaled the rise of another heavily laden pot.

Standing at Edgar's side as she waited for the pot's load to be deposited onto the sorting table, Ashton felt his eyes on her and she looked up to meet his gaze. Her wind reddened cheeks darkened as he grinned happily before turning to dig through the mound of crab. She dove into the waiting pot; meeting Jake's ecstatically grinning gaze, she couldn't help but laugh and passed the cod clip through the netting to his fingers.

"I guess the crab gods like me," she shouted above the wind and gulls as she slid from the pot. Nick's enthusiastic 'guess so' made her smile warmly. Edgar wrapped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed her close in a one armed hug.

"They don't just like you, they love you! You _must_ be Norwegian." Norman snorted good-naturedly at Jacob's comment as the crew laughed. Edgar leaned in close to Ashton's ear and whispered so only she could hear, "I know I do."

Her breath caught in her chest as she looked at the grinning deck boss in surprise, returning to the sorting table as Matt threw the hook to draw the string's final pot up from the ocean's floor. As the pot swung up over the table, the small flock of opportunistic gulls filling the air around the boat rose up again in hopes of snatching a morsel from the crew below.

Feeling something warm and wet hit her face, Ashton it wiped it away with a gloved hand and gagged. Edgar's surprised shout caught her attention and soon she was snickering along with the crew. She turned to face the wheelhouse deck as she heard Sig's voice over the wind and gulls.

"Did you guys just get shit on by a seagull?" The skipper doubled over laughing as Matt answered, "Yeah, by the _same_ damn gull!" Edgar's next move nearly floored his friends and brothers with laughter. In just two bounds, he was again at Ashton's side and without warning, leaned in to lick the remaining white splotch from her cheek. Standing close to her, he swallowed hard with a pounding heart and a lopsided grin crossed his face as he watched the range of emotions rush across her face. Sig's breathless voice brought the deck boss back to the present as the skipper finally managed to control his laughter.

"First she bites the heads of two herring, then the full pots, now the seagull shitting on the both of you…damn Edgar! Down, boy! Down!" Laughing again, Sig returned to his chair in the wheelhouse to write down the latest numbers. He could hear his crew laughing and teasing both Ashton and Edgar. A pang of jealousy hit him as he noted the change he'd seen in his crew, especially Edgar and Ashton. Using the small worn calculator, the skipper punched in the numbers arranged in neat columns on the lined notebook paper and his jealousy quickly melted into pride as the total exceeded his expectations. _Damn, we did good. Could be better, but we did pretty damned good!_

The crew's lightened spirits carried them through the next thirty-three hours as they proceeded to fill all three tanks. As the last crab hit the tank, Sig once again guided his family's boat to the cannery on Saint Paul Island and the crew cleaned and secured the deck before going inside to a hot meal and rest.

Sliding around the table, Ashton found herself between Jake and Edgar. She dished up her plate as the rest of the crew joined them and began inhaling the unusual looking meatloaf. Nick and Matt paused in their eating to stare at her a moment, earning a snorted laugh from Sig. Ashton looked up, finally taking a moment to chew at the sound. Her red eyebrows rose questioningly and the three men shook their heads silently as they tried not to laugh outright. Grinning, Edgar turned to Jacob and his continuously recording camera.

"She can eat twice as much food as any of the rest of us and still not gain a pound." Slipping his left hand under the table, he gently squeezed her hand as she shot a dark glare at him. The crew laughed at the look; the laughter grew as Ashton swallowed to speak.

"S'not my fault I've got a fast metaboli-lism." Edgar nearly sprayed his mouthful of milk over Nick's plate, his face turning red as he choked and coughed. With watering eyes, he looked at her, taking a moment to catch his breath.

"You've got a fast _what_?" Ashton shot a mock glare at the deck boss and, muttering 'jackass', aimed a jabbing finger at his ribs, causing him to squirm in an attempt to avoid it. When he slipped off the bench with a surprised Norwegian curse, an expression of concerned panic instantly replaced her amusement and her face paled. Edgar righted himself, and seeing her look, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and gently kissed the top of her head, missing the amused looks of his crewmates and skipper.

"I'm alright, I promise. There was no harm done," he whispered softly into her damp hair. Although she flashed him a smile, the concern remained in her blue eyes for the rest of the night. _She still blames herself for what happened to me. She's afraid it'll happen again,_ he thought sadly. Taking his arm from her shoulders, he once again slid his hand under the table and took hold of hers. The remainder of the meal was silent save for the scraping of metal on ceramic plates. As they finished eating, the crew stacked their empty dishes into the sink filled with hot soapy water and drifted off to their bunks for a well-earned rest before the offload. Soon, only Ashton and Edgar remained in the galley; she plunged both hands into the hot water and gasped in shock, refusing to jerk her hands from the temporarily painful water. Once she scrubbed the dishes, she stacked them in the other half of the sink until all eight sets filled the sink before pulling the plug on the soapy water.

Edgar came up and wrapped his arms around her from behind, gently placing a kiss on her cheek. She froze with a soft gasp, heart pounding and only relaxed when she heard him whisper softly in her ear.

"You should go get some sleep. I'll finish up out here; I think it was my turn to do the dishes anyway." Turning around in his loosely wrapped arms, she faced Edgar and studied his face with a faint smile. The cut across his forehead and down one temple was now a long red scar, which Ashton assured him, would eventually fade to a pale line. Leaning up, she lightly brushed her lips against his. At the sound of a throat being cleared, Edgar stepped back and swung around.

Norman stood in the entrance of the kitchen, a broad smile on his face as he studied his brother and crewmate. Brotherly pride glinted in his eyes and he laughed good-naturedly at Ashton's blush, "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone what you two love birds have been doing." He drained his cup of coffee and set it inside the empty sink as Edgar rinsed the clean dishes, following Ashton into the stateroom. Jake was already snoring softly in his bunk, lying on his belly facing the room. Ashton curled up on her side, facing the wall, and was asleep almost immediately. Norman lay flat on his back, fingers laced behind his head and stared up at the dark ceiling. When Edgar closed the door softly behind him and finally claimed his own bunk, Norman rolled onto his side to lean over the edge of his bunk.

"Norman, don't even go there. I already know." Edgar spoke softly into the darkness below him and Norman's soft laugh answered as he tucked his arm beneath his pillow and rested his head in the crook of his elbow.

"You already know what?" A soft sigh answered in the silence, followed by the sound of Edgar rolling over onto his side under his blankets. The silence dragged on so long Norman wondered if his brother had drifted off to sleep. He was about to repeat his question when Edgar finally answered.

"I love her."

****

**_The roar of the wind drowned the sound of the buzzer warning of the imminent rouge wave. She turned in time to see the wall of water crash over the port deck shelter and knock Edgar, Jacob and Matt from their feet an instant before enveloping her in its white froth. It carried her across the deck, crashing her into Jake's legs at the starboard rail. Frantic, she wrapped her left arm around his legs while her right hand gripped the back of his rain slicker and pulled him back to the deck. Her heart pounded in her throat as the _Northwestern_ listed dangerously on her starboard side. In a daze, she scrambled to her hands and knees and was knocked flat as a second wave came off the starboard bow and somehow managed to right the floundering vessel. She was oblivious to Nick, Jake and Matt's mad scramble to salvage the remainder of their catch and didn't hear Sig's demanding voice nor Norman's shouted response._**

_**The only thing filling her vision was the still form of Edgar, forehead and temple bloody. His eyes were closed and his skin ashen. She scuttled across the heaving deck to his side, ripping off her gloves to search in vain for a pulse at his neck. The sob was ripped from her throat by the savage wind as she began pounding his chest, vainly trying to get his heart to beat; she pressed her mouth to his, a useless attempt to get his lungs to breathe. Strong but gentle hands took her by the shoulders and she shook them off with a cry; the icy rain washing the tears from her face. Her vision blurred his face and she blinked to clear her eyes. She begged him to open his eyes, to look at her, but his body refused to answer. **_

**_"No, don't do this to me! Don't you _dare_ die-you _can't_ die... Please? I love you." Gentle arms wrapped around her from behind as she knelt there and sobbed beside Edgar's still body, a kind voice murmuring in her ear._**

Jerking into a dazed awareness with a gasp, Ashton lay frozen in a cold sweat. A warm body was pressed up against her back, the arm draped around her waist holding her close to him in the narrow bunk; a hand gently twined with hers. His forehead nuzzled gently against the back of her head and tears streamed silently down her cheeks as he murmured in his sleep. As she drifted back to sleep, she softly whispered an echo of her dream into the silence as the feel of Edgar's steady breath against her shoulders began the slow mending of her broken heart.

"I love you."

* * *

Copyright Alissa Franko 2009


	6. Chapter 6: Unintentional Damages

Author's Notes: This chapter was probably even harder to write than the previous one. I was crying by the time I finished it. Thanks for all the reviews. As you probably know by now, I don't own or even pretend to own any real people, places or things in this story...nor am I gaining anything except for the knowledge that people are reading it and (hopefully) enjoying it. Constructive criticisms are welcome, as are reviews.

****

Heaving the heavy bowline down to the cannery worker on the dock below, Ashton watched as he secured the _Northwestern_. She turned from the rail as footsteps came up behind her. Norman climbed over the rail and called over his shoulder as he walked up to the cannery office.

"Hurry up, Ash, we're on mail duty." Ashton scrambled after him, deck boots sloshing through the slush as they walked up the weathered wooden stairs. A blast of warm air hit the deckhands as they entered the building and Ashton kept close to Norman as they passed several other dock workers and deckhands. Pausing by a closed wooden door, Norman held it open and followed Ashton in.

"Morning Norman. Who's your pretty friend? I was expecting to see Matthew with you." An elderly Aleut woman grinned from behind the counter as she studied Ashton with approving dark chocolate eyes. Norman smiled at Ashton's blush and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Good morning Elle. This is Ashton, our greenhorn. Matt's watching the offload, and she needed off the boat. He sends his love though." Elle took Ashton's outstretched hand with both wrinkled hands.

"Good to meet you, Ashton. Your mail is in the back; you know where. Ashton; that sounds familiar…where have I heard it before? Oh yes, I remember! A man called here the day before yesterday asking for you. He wouldn't leave his name, but he gave me a message. He said to remind you not to forget about the job you were sent here to do and that failure to complete the job properly would be unacceptable. Do you know what he meant by that?" Ashton shifted nervously under Elle's wise gaze and nodded silently. The old woman shuffled out from behind the counter and cupped her hands around the younger woman's face, dark brown eyes gazing kindly into azure blues.

"I have three grown daughters and seven granddaughters. I have seen this look many times in their eyes. Whatever it is that this man wants you to do, you must decide if you are willing to bear the burden of _all_ the consequences. Sometimes the right decision is the hardest one to make." She gently squeezed Ashton's cheeks, giving her a grandmotherly smile. Stepping back, she lightly patted Ashton's cheek affectionately as Norman came out with a large sailcloth bag filled with mail. He set it down next to Ashton, who took the strap as he went back for the two large boxes. When he returned, he once again propped open the door and waited as the young woman hefted the bag across her back. She paused as she reached Norman and turned back to Elle.

"How will I know which choice is the right one?"

"Your heart will tell you, and your mind will agree."

****

The run back to the grounds provided Ashton ample time think about Jasper's message and Elle's advice. In amongst the bag of letters was an envelope bearing the Alaska State Fish and Game seal addressed to her. The ranger's name and address had been printed from a computer; there was no return address. With a sinking feeling, Ashton shoved it under her pillow without opening it, waiting until she was alone to read it.

As they steamed toward their northern grounds, the crew bunked down to catch up on some much-needed rest. Taking advantage of the quiet, Ashton sat at the galley table with a mug of coffee and the still unopened letter. She took a drink to settle her nerves before ripping open the envelope. Anxiety filled her expression as she read,

_'You apparently don't understand what's at risk if you don't do as I've instructed. You need to find a way to get that boat back in Dutch Harbor, pronto. I don't care how you do it, just do it…break something, loose something, kill someone; I don't care. Do you get the picture, or do I have to spell it out even further? I want those Norwegians off the water…or in it…indefinitely._

_"Don't screw this up…or your ass is mine. – J'_

"Why the hell aren't you in bed? You're the one that needs it most, you with your hyperactive metabolism." She jumped visibly as Sig's gravelly voice broke the silence. The skipper frowned as she hastily re-folded her letter and tried stuffing it back in its envelope, her shaking hands further ripping the torn paper. Pouring himself some coffee, he scooted in next to her and studied her pale profile.

"Hey, you with me here?" Nodding absently, Ashton took a deep breath and a sip of her cooling coffee. Glancing at him from the corner of her eye, she fidgeted with the frayed hem of her hoodie sleeve. His raised blond eyebrows silently asked for her to elaborate, but she simply shook her head. The skipper nodded and stood; looking down at the young woman, he opened his mouth to speak, paused, and then spoke, "I – it's not your fault Edgar got hurt, you know that right? It's not really _Edgar's_ fault either, but...you've got to stop kicking yourself in the ass about it. It's not your fault."

Ashton smiled thankfully, and nodded her understanding. "Thank you, Captain Hansen. I appreciate it," she whispered softly to his retreating back as he started up the wheelhouse stairs. She laughed as he called down the stairwell, "God damn it, enough with the 'Captain Hansen' crap already! It's Sig, alright?!"

He glared at David, tiredly aiming the recording camera on the annoyed skipper. Snatching up a cigarette, he tucked it roughly between his lips and struggled to get the tip lit. Finally it flared with an orange glow and he leaned back, dragging deeply and exhaling slowly.

"How friggen hard is it, man? It's three simple letters…S – I – G… 'Sig'. Three letters; one syllable. It's _not_ that complicated." He heaved a heavy sigh from deep in his throat and shook his head. "If she's doing it just to piss me off, she's doing a damned good job of it." Shaking his head again, turning his attention back to the monitor showing his crew staggering back out on deck.

****

"So, anyone know what's gotten into Ashton? I mean, she seemed like she was finally getting happy and comfortable, but then…" Jake trailed off as she came up to bait the waiting pot and silently helped her to secure the cod before she slid back to the deck. He smiled as he watched her begin to help sort the crab. Although his affection for her began as romantic, he saw the way she looked at Edgar and how his best friend returned her looks. At first he was jealous, but now, watching her work, Jake realized his love for her was different. When Jacob asked him about it, Jake had shrugged, saying that he loved her like a sister. _'Like it or not, she's my sister now. There's nothing she can do about. Haha.'_

"You awake over there, Jakers? You've measured the same crab three times already." Matt's gentle knocking on his head snapped Jake out of his reverie and he joined in the laughing as he playfully pushed Matt away. Looking over to where Ashton stood, his bright grin drawing out a more genuine smile on the woman's sad face.

****

Sitting in the wheelhouse twelve hours later for her first solo run, Ashton struggled to keep her anxious mind focused. With a sigh of resignation, she finally succumbed to the thoughts crowding her tired brain. Lost in her thoughts, she stared blankly at the sodium lights glowing on the horizon that were getting closer with each wave she crested.

"_Northwestern_, this is _Cornelia Marie_. Uh, Sig, you on this one, man? It's Phil." David looked up from slipping a fresh tape into his handheld camera as Phil Harris's rough voice came over the radio. He tried again when didn't get an answer.

"Hey, uh, Sig? I've got your bow coming up on my starboard rail. If you're trying to freak me out, man, you're doing a hell of a job." Silence fell as both David and the _Cornelia Marie _watched the distance between the fishing vessels disappeared. By now Phil could see Sig wasn't behind the controls and he roared out over the radio in unison with David.

"ASHTON! TURN THE DAMN BOAT!!!" Ashton jerked and twisted the rudder to one side while yanking back on the throttle, causing the Northwestern to shudder and list dangerously to port. As the white, Seattle based vessel narrowly missed hitting her partner boat, Ashton reached up to grab the radio handset.

"_Cornelia Marie_, this is the _Northwestern_. Are you and your guys all right? I'm so sorry! It won't _ever_ happen again, I _swear_! Aww, shit...Stand by!" Try as she might, she couldn't keep the growing panic from her trembling voice as an alarm from the engine room sounded. Now that they were clear of the _Cornelia Marie_, Ashton fought to right the boat and pull her from the ditch.

"Shit, Red! You could have gotten us all fucking killed. What the hell were you thinking? No, wait…I don't even fucking want to know that answer. Get Sig up there and have him fucking call me." Swallowing her tears, she whispered a trembling 'roger' into the handheld before hanging it back onto the overhead console. Strong hands yanking her from the captain's chair slammed the terrified ranger turned greenhorn against the door leading to the wheelhouse deck. Sig's red face was inches from hers as he yelled incoherently at her. It took the combined strength of Matt and Nick to pull their fuming captain away from the ashen woman, who crumpled to floor in fear.

Sig's chest heaved from the effort of trying to refrain from attacking Ashton again and he managed to spit out a dangerous growl as he pointed to the wheelhouse stairwell.

"Get. Out." Ashton pulled herself to her feet and hesitated only a split second before yanking open the door she'd been slammed into. Heart in his throat and expecting the worst, Matt raced down the wheelhouse door, through the galley, and out onto deck where he nearly collided into a soaking wet Ashton. He pulled her inside the ready room and secured the hatch while she made a quick beeline for the stateroom, avoiding Jake and Jacob's stares from where they paused in putting the galley back together.

Gently closing the door behind her, she leaned against it and took several deep breaths to keep from hyperventilating. She looked around the tiny room and listened to Sig venting his fury on Nick and David. A soft knock at the door caused her to cringe and gasp in fright. Wiping her eyes, she sniffled as realization of what she'd done hit her with full force and she pushed herself away from the door as Jake's worried voice came through.

"Hey, Ash? It's Jake, can I come in? Please?"

Jake gently pushed the door open to find Ashton throwing the clothes from her drawers into her duffel bag and begin sorting through the clothes on the floor. He sat on the edge of her bed and watched her in silence a moment. He was about to speak when Norman stood in the entry way and, catching the older man's eye, changed his mind.

Zipping up her bag, Ashton sat back on her heels and gazed around the room, her shock subsiding enough to take stock of her surroundings. Her breath caught in her throat as her wide eyes slid over the vacant place at the head of her bunk. With a curse she began digging frantically through the clothes and pillows and mementoes of home that littered the floor.

"Where is it? Where is it? Shit, _fuck_, where the hell is it?!" Panic welling up in her chest again, she whirled to face Norman when he softly cleared his throat and her heart skipped a few beats at the sight of Jasper's letter in his hand. An uneasy look crossed Jake's face and he excused himself. Norman closed the door behind him and silently scrutinized the woman sitting before him. She was shivering from cold and fright, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Instead, he held up the folded and crumpled piece of paper.

"Would you care to explain this? I have a suspicion its connected to the message Elle gave you and what happened upstairs this morning, but I want to hear it from you." The relief engineer's voice was devoid of emotion; if anything his entire being showed carefully restrained disappointment. This combined with Jake and Matt's kindness cut deeper than Sig's unmasked fury and hurt worse than the pain of being slammed against the door. She looked up at him, her blue eyes glistening as she fought back the tears.

"I swear to God, Norman, this was not supposed to happen. I had no idea Phil was even there. I didn't see him or hear him until it was almost too late…"

"How the _hell_ could you have missed him?! His boat's _three feet longer_ than ours!" Norman's eyes flashed as he shouted angrily at Ashton, who cringed. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to regain composure. Ashton's voice was soft and shaky as she resumed her defense.

"Please, you have to believe me…I had no intention of doing what he wanted. Okay, so maybe I did when I first got on…but then Edgar got hurt and everything changed – Norman, please! Wait!" Scrambling to her feet, she stumbled out the stateroom door and into the galley, where Norman paused before ascending the stairs.

"Ashton, I can't. You came too close to giving him what he wanted. I can't trust you; I can't believe you. Not now." Her eyes narrowed as tears spilled down her cheeks, and she turned back to the crew gathered at the table. Swallowing hard, she shook her head at their questioning looks and returned to the stateroom. As the door was closing, Edgar's hand stopped it and he slipped in, closing it the rest of the way. In the lengthening silence the sounds of Sig's violent yet brief Norwegian curses and Ashton's muffled sobs were the last things the three deckhands heard before they returned to the deck to finish the string.

****

_'Pull yourself together, get your head back on straight, then come back out and…I don't know. I'll think of something for you to do.'_ Edgar's calm words echoed amongst those of his brothers' and Phil Harris'. Edgar had left to help his crew on deck two hours ago, but she couldn't bring herself to go out and join them. She'd heard Sig's announcement that this would be the last trip out to the grounds before heading back for the final offload so she knew that her options for helping on deck were limited to just a few things; things she was sure Norman or Sig wouldn't trust her to do.

_How do I show them that I didn't mean to nearly hit the Cornelia Marie? How do I show them that I'm on their side, not Jasper's? What do I do?_

Angry tears filled her eyes as she mentally cursed Jasper for sending her the letter, and then Norman for finding it. Sniffling, she gently rapped the wall near her face as she took back the curses aimed at the middle Hansen brother. She cried for fifteen minutes before composing herself and stepping out into the ready room where she pulled on her rain gear and joined the silent crew on deck.

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Copyright Alissa Franko 2009


	7. Chapter 7: What Do I Do To Make You See?

Author's Note: This is the beginning of the end. I promise you'll find out why Jasper wanted to sabotage the _Northwestern_ at all costs in Chapter 8. I think I'm done trying to kill people now...at least for the moment. We'll have to wait and see what the last chapter brings! Constructive criticisms are most welcome and appreciated, as are reviews.

As I get critiques on grammatical mistakes, I try to go back and correct those mistakes that are pointed out to me. No worries, though, its usually just punctuation stuff or a word choice here or there that needs to be changed to the correct tense or whatever. In short, nothing's been changed except for how easily the story flows. Sorry, I'm just obsessive like that.

****

Snow swirled around the _Northwestern_, cutting visibility down to three-quarters of a mile. The waves were relatively gentle but high and the spray was beginning to freeze to everything it touched. Including the growing stack. The nervous ache in Sig's gut only grew worse with each wave they crested, knowing his crew had to remain and continue hauling pots or risk loosing them to the ice pack rapidly approaching them. Glancing down at the deck monitor, he watched as Ashton and Jake struggled to secure each pot Norman lifted up to them.

Watching Ashton and Jake's progress from the deck, Edgar was nearly sick with anxiety. The crew had adamantly refused to let Edgar work the stack; even Sig and Norman were more willing to trust Ashton on the stack than their brother.

"Last pot coming up." Sig's announcement brought visible relief to the physically and mentally strained crew. Sorting the crab at his corner of the table with a practiced hand, Edgar's eyes followed the wildly swinging pot as Norman skillfully raised it to the stack and settled it down next to Jake. The young deckhands hurried to secure it to the rest of the pots before Norman raised the final pot.

The sudden prolonged screech of the buzzer caused everyone on deck to scramble for cover and Ashton and Jake's heads jerked up to see the wall of water flood the abandoned deck. The force of the wave pushed the boat dangerously to starboard and the woman lost her grip on the icy pot. Jake scrambled after her as she slid over the edge of the stack. He caught her by the wrist in a firm grip as he clung to the stack for dear life, his voice shrill with panic as he screamed 'man overboard'.

"Ashton, hold on! Don't let go! Give me your other hand, let me pull you up." The scream of alarms and the buzzer broke through the storm's noise once again and Ashton's eyes were wide with panic. Kicking at the pots for purchase, her feet kept slipping and she grabbed for Jake's other hand.

The wave crashed against the struggling Ashton and drove the breath from her lungs. A searing pain shot through her left side as she felt ribs crack under the force of being slammed into the pots. As the _Northwestern_ charged through the wave, Ashton was torn from Jake's grip and she hit the water hard. Her heart hammered against her ribs as she struggled to break the surface before the urge to breathe overcame her.

Finally, her head and shoulders broke through the waves and she gasped deeply for breath, coughing against the water entering her mouth. Bobbing in the water with the aid of her life vest, she watched as Sig fought to turn the _Northwestern_ around. Violent tremors began racking her body and she coughed as water found its way into nearly every gasp for air. In her body's attempt to cling to life, Ashton's vision wavered and she grew numb to the frigid waters.

A neon red life ring splashed into the water in front of her face, bringing her dull mind back into focus and as she stared blankly at it, Norman's shout to grab it failing to register in her sluggish brain. A second splash brought her gaze up to stare stupidly into the face inches from hers before he wrapped her arms around his neck and slung both their bodies into the life sling to be hauled to safety.

****

Landing on his back, Edgar forced the survival suit's hood off his head and rolled a semi-conscious Ashton to her back. She groaned and gagged, weakly rolling to her side as she vomited seawater from her lungs and gut. Emptied of seawater, she sagged in exhaustion as her body gasped raggedly for breath and shuddered for warmth.

Edgar gingerly rolled her onto her back again, and with Matt's help, carried her to the stateroom where he struggled to pull off the survival suit as Matt began peeling off Ashton's clothes. Once Edgar was in dry set of clothes, he helped Matt pull the blankets from his bunk and wrap them around Ashton's convulsing body. Crawling onto Ashton's bunk, Edgar pulled down the blankets as Matt laid her down next to him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, gently rubbing her back and arm. Matt pulled the blankets up over his friends and partially closed the door behind him before making the long climb into the wheelhouse.

"Eggar? I-I don't-t wan-wanna die...d-don' wanna d-d-die." Tears spilled from Edgar's eyes as he choked back a sob. Shifting their bodies so he could look into her eyes, he swallowed hard as he touched his forehead to hers.

"I'm not going to let you die. Do you understand me? You're not going to die; I won't let you. I promise." Pulling her close to him again, he tucked her head under his chin as the tears rolled unchecked from his eyes and continued to rub her shaking back. He closed his eyes and let his tears release the anxiety that had been welling up inside him since the near miss earlier that day. Dozing, Edgar was vaguely aware of his eldest brother speaking with Jake in the galley. He drifted in and out of awareness, half listening to Ashton murmuring in her sleep.

As Ashton's shaking slowly began to subside, his grip around her loosened until his arm rested limply across her side. He drifted off into a light slumber as images of Ashton being washed off the stack began haunting his dreams.

****

The sounds of soft voices and the click of a shutter brought Edgar awake. Lifting his head, he wiped the dried tears from his eyes and stared blankly into Norman's camera lens. The shutter clicked again as Edgar scowled at his brother and Norman sat back as he lowered his camera.

"Welcome back. You owe me ten bucks," he called over his shoulder at Matt leaning in the doorway. Edgar frowned at the two men in confusion as he laid his head back down next to Ashton's. Rubbing the heel of his hand into his eye, he moaned softly and yawned.

"I see Ashton got dressed while I was asleep. How long was I out?"

"Two and a half days. Right after you and Matt brought Ash down, Sig called the Coast Guard and they told us to just let you sleep. But we had to wake her once an hour just to make sure she would, at least for the first twenty-four hours." Norman smiled sadly at the look in his brother's eyes as he stared at the pale woman sleeping next to him.

"She's going to fine, Ed. She might look like hell, but she's going to be fine." Slipping the cap over the lens, Norman put his camera away and looked back to Edgar as he began to doze off again. He leaned over Ashton and patted his brother on the arm and laughed as the man jerked awake again with a muttered Norwegian curse.

"Sig wanted to talk to you when you woke up. You should grab something to eat on your way up to the wheelhouse, though. You might need the strength." Laughing again at his brother's muttered curse, he followed Matt back out into the galley where Jake was playing a game on the X-Box.

Lifting himself up, he slid an arm under Ashton and, pulling her gently towards the center of the bunk as gently as he could, straddled her as she moaned and rolled to her back. He swallowed hard as her eyes cracked open and licked dry lips with a pounding heart.

"I – uh, I'm needed in the wheelhouse. I'll be back in a couple hours to check on you." A tear leaked from her the corner of her eye as she struggled to rise and Edgar climbed the rest of the way from the bunk to kneel beside her.

"Sig…Norman…?" Her hoarse voice mirrored the fear in her eyes. Edgar gently pushed her back down and took her hand in both of his, lightly kissing the back of it.

"Let me worry about them. You just worry about getting better. We'll still need your help when we get into Dutch. We should be there in a couple more days, and there's plenty to do between now and then anyways." He gave her a comforting smile as he gently tucked her in, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead before rising and flipping out the light before partially closing the door on the darkened room. Accepting the plate of food from Matt, the deck boss mounted the stairs and, setting his plate down a moment, settled himself on the bench near his brother.

"We need to talk about – " Sig didn't wait for his youngest brother to finish before rounding on him angrily.

"Damn straight we need to talk. I want her off this boat the second we get tied off in Dutch Harbor!" Red-faced, the skipper twisted back around and snatched up his pack of cigarettes. Violently smacking the last stick from the carton, he struggled to get the flame to catch. Edgar waited with an uncharacteristic patience until smoke swirled around Sig's head before continuing as if he'd never been interrupted.

"We need to talk about what happened the other day. Now, all I know of the problem is what I've heard Ashton say in her sleep…which is that that bastard boss of hers put her up to it. Apparently she had to choose doing what he wanted by sabotaging our boat and keep her job or not doing what he wanted and loose her job. One choice puts her life on the line on a bigger scale than it already is, and the other puts her on the streets in Anchorage or Soldotna or wherever the hell it is she lives." Pausing to shovel some food down his throat, he watched Sig's reaction to his little speech. Taking advantage of the silence, Edgar decided to give his brother more time to think on his words and finished eating before setting the plate aside.

"Judging from the bruise on my stomach, I think she'd been having some nightmares about what happened…" His voice trailed off at the dark glare Sig shot him.

"She'd better be having nightmares. If you didn't notice, she almost ran the boat into Phil! She nearly flooded the engine _and our boat!_ While you were getting all cozy next to her, Norman was stuck down in the engine room repairing the damage your girlfriend caused! I don't give a _damn_ if she did it intentionally or not! Fuck, Edgar! Pull your head out of your ass and look around! She nearly killed us all and she nearly sunk not only _our_ boat, but _Phil's_ as well!" Sucking in a deep breath, Sig struggled to regain control of his temper.

****

"Is there anyway I can prove to all of you that this was all just a huge mistake? I never meant to hurt anyone. I was about to call Jasper to tell him to go screw himself when Captain Harris and David yelled at me to turn the boat. I'm sorry…I'm just so sorry…please; I'll do anything to prove it. I swear!" Five bodies jumped at Ashton's sudden voice, five heads and a camera turned to stare at her standing in the doorway of the stateroom. She held Edgar's blankets tightly around her; dark bruises beneath her eyes making a vast contrast against her pasty pale skin. The video game's music was loud in the silence after Sig's loud outburst.

She looked at each man, hoping for some kind of answer but no one could meet her gaze nor provide her the answer she needed to hear. Sighing sadly, she turned back into the stateroom and the door clicked softly behind her. Going to her bunk, she curled up as best as her ribs would allow and stared blankly at the wall before her

Hours later, the two younger Hansen brothers and Jake filed into the stateroom to find Ashton propped up in her bunk, a notebook on her lap and a pen in hand. Her head lolled to one side as she slept and Edgar gently took the notebook and pen from her grasp. Depositing them onto his own neatly made bunk, complete with blankets, he gently pulled back her blankets before sliding her down to rest more comfortably with her head on the pillow; he'd pulled her already packed duffel to the floor prior to shifting her. A soft groan was the only sound she'd made as she rolled her head to face the wall.

Sitting on the floor, back propped against his bunk, Edgar began reading the letter Ashton wrote. He waved aside Jake's doubtful question as he glared at the pages filled with her neat handwriting. Norman and Jake waited silently for Edgar to finish reading; lowering the notebook, he stared at Ashton sleeping deeply a moment before passing the notebook up to Norman. When Norman was finished, he passed the letter across to Jake, whose mouth moved silently as he read.

Jake handed Ashton's letter back down to Edgar and chewed on a hangnail peeling from his right thumb. Taking his thumb away from his mouth, he whispered into the silence.

"So what happens now?" Edgar looked up, his dark eyes holding a simmering look.

"Right now we get some sleep. When we get up, we'll figure out what we're going to do. But for now, just go to sleep." Propping the notebook between her bag and the wall, Edgar turned out the light and crawled into his bed. Rolling over to face the wall, he mentally repeated Jake's question to himself.

_What the fuck _are_ we going to do now? What the fuck _can_ we do?_

Copyright Alissa Franko 2009

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	8. Chapter 8: Stop Rocking The Boat

Author's note: There are a couple sexually suggestive moments in this chapter, so please don't be offended. Nothing too explicit, but definitely one of those reader discretion moments; parental discretion advised. We all know it was bound to happen sooner or later, eh? Constructive criticsms and reviews are most welcome and appreciated.

****

Standing at the _Northwestern_'s bow, the wind playing with her long red hair, Ashton watched as the day's first light glowed beyond the eastern horizon. Dutch Harbor was still a full day and a half away, and for the young woman, those thirty-six hours couldn't pass fast enough. The previous four days had proven to be an utter hell for all aboard, and though each movement sent searing pain through her left side, Ashton had risen early. The climb to the bow left her exhausted and now just standing was an effort despite the flat calm of the ocean. Since writing her letter to the crew the night before, she felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She'd finally been able to explain everything, from what happened in the wheelhouse to the real reason behind her presence aboard the vessel.

The sunrise tinged the sky the most beautiful shades of yellows, purples and blues. It was the most beautiful Nick had seen in a long time. Having relieved Sig at the helm three hours ago, he was surprised to watch Ashton make her way quietly to the bow. For the past hour, he kept a careful eye on her; not really allowing himself to relax until Ashton returned inside, he decided she wasn't about to do anything rash.

"Nick? How long has Half-Pint been out there like that?" The sudden sound of Sig's voice caused Nick to jump in his seat and turn. He let out a shaky laugh and shook his head as his pounding heart started to slow it's frantic thumping.

"She's been there about an hour, just standing out there…staring. It's like she's in a trance or something. I've been keeping an eye on her though." Changing places with the skipper, he took the notebook Sig held out to him. Confused, he opened it to the page marked with the cheap pen. Sig's muttered 'just read it' answered his unspoken question and he leaned against the chart table as he read the long letter written by Ashton.

Looking up when he finished, Nick stared out the windows and the silence lengthened as both men watched Ashton watch the sunrise. When the fiery orb had cleared the watery horizon, they watched her pick her way gingerly around the wheelhouse and descend the ladder to disappear below deck.

Yawning, Nick ran a hand back through his black hair and glanced over at Sig, who continued to stare outside thoughtfully.

"Want me to stay up here with you for a while?" Sig turned to Nick, sleepily mulling over his friend's question a moment. Opening his mouth to speak, he stopped when David beat him to answering; "Yes, we want you to stay. Maybe that way he'll stop ranting in Norwegian. My bosses'll love the footage, but it's actually really freaky to listen to when you're alone with him while he's doing it." David's eyes were still closed and he remained draped across the bench next the chart table.

Sig sniffed with a wry grin and sarcastically shot off a line in Norwegian at the dozing producer. Both Sig and Nick laughed as David lifted his head, bafflement scrunching his tired features.

"What'd you just say? C'mon, Nick…. What'd he say?" Still laughing, Nick shook his head and raised his hands in mock defense.

"You don't want to know…it wasn't pretty." Rolling his eyes, David sat up and picked up his camera to begin a new day of filming. Nick remained in the wheelhouse for another half hour before returning to the galley, setting the notebook on the table as he made his way back to the stateroom he shared with Matt for a couple hours' rest.

****

The smell of breakfast being made and the crew's laughter brought Ashton from a fitful sleep. She rolled from her bunk with a groan and staggered into the galley. The men moved around to make room for her and she found herself sitting next to Matt as Edgar brought the last of the pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon and sausage to the table.

Edgar slid in next to Ashton and gently placed a kiss on her forehead as Matt filled a plate and set it before the baffled woman. He smiled and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, kissing her head as she tucked it down to begin eating. In no time, her plate was clean and she leaned back with closed eyes; right hand pressed against her tender left side.

The sound of plates being cleared and Edgar's lips pressing against her temple brought Ashton's eyes open again. She looked around at the crew hiding smiles into coffee mugs before meeting Edgar's gaze, who cleared his throat softly as he set her notebook in front of her.

"We, um, we read the letter. All of us, I mean, even Sig. Norm, Jake and I read it first; Nick read it last." Reaching across to take Ashton's right hand into his left, he twined his fingers between hers and gave a gentle squeeze. He met her gaze and attempted a comforting smile, but the haunted look in her eyes tore into his heart.

Norman watched as his brother's determination faltered when his eyes met Ashton's. Picking up where Edgar left off, Norman explained how he spoke with the Alaskan Fish and Game about the dangerous situation her boss had created on board the _Northwestern_ and what the official advised they do once they docked in Dutch Harbor.

"When we get there, we need you to remain on the boat – inside if at all possible. I realize you've already done a lot to help us get ready in here, but we don't want you out on deck if Jasper is at the dock. You'll be safer here." In the silence that followed, Ashton pondered her next words. Matt put a gentle hand on her shoulder and lightly rubbed it comfortingly.

"We know you're scared, but we won't let you get hurt. We won't let him hurt you." Grimacing, Ashton nodded and squeezed Edgar's hand, murmuring a soft thank you to the crew. With a smile, Norman shooed the crew from the galley to allow his brother some time alone with the uncomfortable looking Ashton. The crew filed out through the ready room with knowing looks, leaving Edgar and Ashton alone together. Jacob hesitated, camera trained on the pair still seated together, hand in hand. Norman came back with an exasperated sigh and grabbed the strawberry blond by the back of the shirt to drag him backward towards the ready room.

Now completely alone, Edgar shifted so he could better study Ashton's profile.

"Talk to me, Half-Pint. Your going mute on us is killing me. It doesn't seem like you to be this quite and depressed. You look like the type of person who loves to laugh and smile, and I miss that. A couple weeks ago, I fell in love with a woman who laughed and smiled through some of the roughest hazing a greenhorn can get. A woman who fought through some of the scariest shit a fisherman gets thrown at them…but now that woman's disappeared and I miss her. I want her back; I want _you_ back. I love you, and if I loose you, I don't know what I'll do."

Tears filled Ashton's eyes as she listened to Edgar's soft words and she looked up into his eyes, licking her lips and sniffling before she spoke, "I nearly got us all killed, and you still–" Edgar took her face in both his hands and pressed his mouth to hers in an impulsive yet gently passionate kiss. An eternity flashed by before Edgar pulled away and stared into her surprised face.

"You were exhausted, both mentally and physically, and you were stressing out over me and about what Jasper would do to you. You were set up to fail from the beginning. Do you understand? You had a choice to make in a heartbeat, and you chose to do the right thing." Ashton nodded, unable to speak with her heart pounding in her throat. Edgar smiled, relief flooding through him as he lost himself in her eyes. Leaning in again, one hand slid behind her head as he kissed her again with a racing heart. Ashton closed her eyes as she returned the affection, hands slipping behind his neck. In their passion, the pain in Ashton's side dulled until they pulled back momentarily for breath.

Chest heaving, Ashton shifted with a pained groan to lie flat on the bench. As Edgar stood, she stretched her legs out and sighed. The muffled sound of a filled coffee mug hitting the table brought her head up to study his flushed face. Setting his own mug down on the table, the deck boss gingerly leaned over her and pressed his lips to her again in another passionate kiss. Ashton threaded her fingers through his hair as they kissed, the Advil and coffee forgotten on the table. They lay there, Edgar moving his kisses down her throat to her collarbones and back up, both loosing all sense of time and place.

"Hot damn, Edgar! You don't waste much time do you, man? Ha ha ha!" Sig's voice broke through the thick cloud of passion flooding Edgar's brain and he froze in mid kiss with an aggravated groan. Sighing into Ashton, he pulled away from her and shot a frustrated glare at his eldest brother. While Ashton pulled herself upright with a pained grimace, Edgar sat back down with hunched shoulders.

Ashton swallowed the Advil Edgar set out for her and shifted over to lean into Edgar. Laying her head on his shoulder, she rubbed his shoulders with her right hand. A thought came to her and she looked up at the skipper with a wry grin. Her cheeks colored when she noticed David standing nearby with his camera recording, but she'd already committed her mind to her taunt.

"Don't worry, Edgar. We can still finish up later. While everyone else is busy with getting the boat ready to dock, and Sig at the wheel, we'll sneak up to Sig's room and finish what we started." Sig groaned and rolled his eyes with a 'don't fucking go there!' as he followed David back up to the wheelhouse, Ashton and Edgar's genuine laughter lifting a weight off the skipper's shoulders. _They're going to make it; they'll be okay._

****

Sig glared out the windows as the sounds from his stateroom filled his ears. When Ashton mentioned sneaking into his stateroom to finish what Edgar started, the seasoned skipper didn't expect his brother and greenhorn to actually follow through with the threat. Although no words were spoken, Sig's ears still burned with embarrassment. The red light on David's camera was on, signaling the man was catching the sounds of their act on camera.

"I can't believe they're doing this to me. This is low even for , but I never expected this from Half-Pint. She's got some serious gall to be doing _this_! To _me_! In _my_ bed! I mean, I still have to sleep in that bed." Sighing heavily, he could hear his crew joking softly in the galley below between Edgar and Ashton's heated sounds. Beneath his gruff complaining and dark glares, David could tell the skipper was happy for his brother.

"I mean they've got their _own_ bunks. They can use _those_, can't they?" David shrugged, knowing Sig's question was purely rhetorical. Narrowing his eyes, Sig got up and descended the few steps to bang on his stateroom door.

"Hey, knock it off in there! You're rocking the boat!" Groans echoed in his ears as he returned to his chair before silence fell throughout the boat, and Sig chewed absently on the tip of a pen. The sound of the crew's good-natured teasing, followed by that of a running shower broke the silence.

****

Later that day, Ashton was out on deck with Nick, Matt, Jake and Jacob. The three Hansens sat in the wheelhouse with David, Norman and Sig talking about what to do with Ashton and Jasper when they reached Dutch Harbor. Everyone knew they would be reaching the small port town in just four short hours. Edgar sat in the co-captain chair, staring blankly out the window. A post-it note pad flung across the wheelhouse hit him in the side of his head. He flinched and glared at his brothers laughing at his reaction.

"What the hell was that for?"

"Just seeing if you were still awake. You hear what Norm and I just said?" Edgar rolled his eyes exaggeratedly towards Sig with a scowl; Sig laughed and summarized what they would do when they arrived in Dutch. Edgar listened silently, and rubbed the back of his neck when Sig finished.

"So, you're not kicking her off the boat the second we dock?" Sig sighed and rubbed a hand back through his thinning hair. Locking his fingers behind his head, he shook his head slowly.

"No. I was pissed, and I wasn't thinking. But reading what she wrote..." Sighing heavily in his throat, he paused a moment to listen to the rest of his crew making amends with Ashton. Sig let his arms fall back down to the chair's armrests before continuing, "I should probably go talk to her. Let her know I'm on her side, you know?" Both Edgar and Norman nodded their agreements, and Sig sighed an 'all right' before heaving himself from his chair. As he descended the ladder from the wheelhouse deck, Norman took over the helm.

He glanced over at Edgar, who was once again staring absently out the windows as he chewed on a fingernail, and smiled.

"She seems to be doing better now, though I'll feel better once we get her seen at the clinic. Are you sure you want to take her alone? Nick or Matt could go with you so you wouldn't have to wait alone."

Edgar shook his head as he answered, "I'll go alone. They should let me go back with her; I'm her closest next of kin, I suppose." Norman smiled at the look on his brother's face as the younger man sighed and turned to face the elder, adding, "Matt and Nick are needed here to help you and Jake store the gear when we get to Dutch. And to help you and Sig keep that jackass from getting ahold of our boat." _To keep that bastard from getting ahold of the woman I love._

Copyright Alissa Franko 2009

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	9. Chapter 9:“On The Edge Of Forever”

Author's Note: This chapter's title is a part of a line from David Cook's "Time of My Life" and belongs to him and his songwriter(s). Okay, so I may have fibbed just a little...we find out why Jasper did what he did in this chapter. If it's still not clear, I've got someone saying exactly why Jasper wanted the _Northwestern_ out of commission in chapter ten. I think there may be only one or two chapters left in this story, but we'll see. Constructive criticsms and reviews are most welcome and appreciated. Thanks for reading!

_'Dear Captain Hansen and Crewmates,_

'_I want to explain what happened while I was on wheelwatch and why. Although the blame lies mostly with Jasper, I am partly to blame because I nearly succeeded in giving him what he wanted: damage to the boat and everyone on her._

_'The day I first stepped on this boat was my very first day of working the field. On our way to the docks, Jasper explained a little bit about why he needed to keep the boat docked. He said that counts and weights were misrepresented, maintenance and service logs were falsely reported, and that the Coast Guard inspections were rigged. But before I went to get the signature that day, he told me the basic reason for wanting to keep the boat docked and, he hoped, shut down for good, was that he believed Captain Hansen was mentally unstable and a liability to not only the crew, but the fishing industry in general._

_'Being new to Fish and Game, and Alaska itself, I knew next to nothing about the boat or you, her captain and crew so I believed Jasper even though he had no proof of his claims. I was willing to do just about anything short of murder to prove that I was worthy of being a ranger. At the time, I was even willing to sabotage the boat._

_'Then I started working with you and I began to see that all of what Jasper told me were lies. When Edgar got hurt, I saw and heard and felt everyone's fear of loosing him. I didn't know it at the time, but I was just as afraid of loosing him as you all were. Seeing Edgar unconscious on the deck, bleeding, I decided that I could not do what Jasper desperately needed me to do._

_'Sitting on wheel watch a couple days later, I was trying to work up the courage to call Jasper and tell him that I couldn't do it…that I couldn't hurt you. And then Captain Harris and David yelled to turn the boat and I panicked, nearly capsizing us and damaging the Cornelia Marie in the process. After the shock wore off, I realized how close I came to doing exactly what Jasper wanted. I realized that in his need to be rid of the Northwestern and her crew, I was just an expendable pawn that couldn't even be traced back to him if I succeeded._

_'In the month and a half I've been on this boat, I've come to love her and her crew. The Northwestern has become like my second home, and you my brothers I never had; Edgar, I love you more than words can describe. Loosing any of you would be loosing a part of myself, and I could not live with myself knowing I was responsible for your deaths._

_'When I get back into Anchorage, I will speak with the regional director and explain what happened this season, and my role in it. No matter how it turns out, I will have nothing to gain and everything to loose. Had I succeeded, I would have lost the home and men I've grown to love and now that I have thankfully failed, I will be looking for a new job and place to live._

_'I know that it will be hard for you to believe what I have said and written, and I don't blame you. I would do the same if I were in your position. But I beg you to consider my words, and I pray that there is something – anything – that I could do to prove that I would do anything to make things right again._

'Ashton McNeill'

Edgar sighed as he read the letter again for the umpteenth time since Ashton first wrote it. He sat alone in the galley while the rest of the crew slept, Jacob having taken up Edgar's one-time offer to use his bunk. He lay back on the bench, feet dangling over the edge into the walkway and stared up at the ceiling. A smile crossed his lips as he reread Ashton's words for him, a warmth spreading through his chest. He drifted off to sleep with those eight words firmly in mind.

****

Ashton stood in the wheelhouse with Sig and David, watching in anxious silence as the skipper made his way through the breakwater and into the harbor. She chewed on a hangnail of one hand while her other hand was tucked tightly across her abdomen.

Sig shot a glance in her direction, his frown deepening as he saw the tight expression in her face. _She looks like she's going to be sick,_ he thought to himself as he turned back to guide his boat in next to the dock. He watched Norman climb down to tie off the bowline as a dockhand secured the stern line. Satisfied, he turned to the wide-eyed woman staring at the small group of people standing at the dock awaiting their loved ones' return. An unhealthy shade tinged her skin and the skipper rose, depositing the keys into the pocket of his faded blue jeans.

Ashton flinched as Sig placed a comforting arm on her shoulder and looked up from scanning the faces below. She searched his comforting expression and took a shaky breath.

"Hey, remember what I said yesterday? We're not going to let that bastard do anything to you. He won't even get within _spitting_ distance of you, or I'll beat the _shit_ out of him." Giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze, he pulled her into a brotherly hug as her body began shaking with tears. Sig rested his chin on top of her head, and shot a glance at Edgar as he came up the wheelhouse stairs.

"Why don't you go down and get your bag ready? I want to have a word with Edgar before he takes you to the clinic." Ashton sniffled and wiped her eyes as she pulled away from the skipper. Her hand brushed Edgar's as she passed, glancing up at him with a look that sent butterflies tearing through his gut. Turning to his brother, Edgar's brows scrunched together as he pointed a thumb over his shoulder.

"Is she okay? She went from sobbing to shooting me puppy dog eyes. She looks like she could be sick at any moment too." Sig grinned as he patted his brother on the shoulder.

"I think you two might've made more than just _love_ the other day. Ask them to do a pregnancy test while you're at the clinic," he added at Edgar's baffled look. Edgar's wide-eyed shock had Sig laughing loudly.

"If my hunch is correct, I owe you a beer."

****

She stared blankly out the window of the beat up Chevy 4x4 truck as it bumped down the road to Dutch Harbor's clinic. Although the bruising along Ashton's left side had faded somewhat since the accident, the entire crew insisted she be seen the moment they had docked.

Edgar's gentle hand slipping into hers brought her back to the present and she let him lead her into the clinic to check in. It took a matter of moments for her to fill out the necessary paperwork and they soon found themselves in the half filled waiting room. He leaned down, whispering comforting words into her ear until the nurse came out with a clipboard.

"Ashton McNeill? We're ready to see you now. Your boyfriend can come with, if you want." The nurse smiled, having noticed Ashton's grip tightened on Edgar's hand when her name was called.

Ashton followed the nurse back to where the prepped x-ray machine waited to snap pictures of her ribs. She waited in awkward silence as Edgar paused to speak in hushed tones to the nurse, asking for her to do an additional blood test and a urine sample. The nurse smiled and nodded before the two entered the room. Edgar shut the door behind him and waited as the x-rays were taken and blood was drawn. When the nurse called him over, he helped Ashton sit up and pull her sports bra and shirt back on. He once again took her hand in his and kissed her forehead as the nurse studied the x-rays.

"Well, it looks like there are three ribs with compound fractures and two more with hairline fractures. You're lucky no organs have been punctured, and your lung only sustained some very minor bruising. Everything seems to be healing up beautifully, although having sex so soon after your accident probably hasn't helped anything." Seeing Ashton's embarrassed blush, the nurse smiled kindly and added, "But from the looks of things, it might've helped the healing process more than it hindered it. My grandmother always said that the body heals better when the soul and spirit are happy." She passed Ashton a small, clear plastic pee cup and directed her to the nearest bathroom. Edgar remained in the room while Ashton filled the cup, the butterflies in his stomach stirring up a storm in his gut. For him, it felt like an eternity before Ashton returned. Writing something on a prescription pad, the nurse handed it to Edgar as she gave them both final instructions.

"I know you both need to head back to the boat and help finish closing up shop, so to speak, but Ms McNeill is restricted to light work only. That means sweeping, wiping down counters, laundry, dishes; anything that doesn't require lifting over five pounds from any position or any strenuous twisting, pushing or pulling. I'd also advise against any more sex for at least another two weeks. We'll have the results of your blood test and urine sample back in a couple days and we'll call you with the news."

Thanking the woman, Edgar and Ashton returned to the front desk and scheduled a follow up appointment for the following month. The two left the clinic hand in hand as Edgar powered up his cell phone. An unheard voicemail message appeared and as he fired up the old truck, he listened to Sig's message with an unusual expression. When the message finished, he deleted it and scratched at his cheek absently

"What? What was the message about?" Edgar ignored her questions as he drove back down to where his family's boat was docked. On the abandoned pier, he noticed a solitary figure in Fish and Game green and swore aloud again. Killing the engine, he slammed the driver side door shut and went around to help Ashton out before slamming her door behind her. Edgar placed himself between Jasper and the woman he loved as they returned to the _Northwestern_.

Jasper started towards them, but stopped dead in his tracks when Edgar pointed an angry finger in his direction.

"Don't you dare take another step towards my boat or my girlfriend, or I will fucking drop you like a fucking rock. You touch either one of my girls and I swear to God it will be the last thing you fucking _ever_ do," Edgar growled dangerously at Ashton's boss, who blanched at took a step back. Jasper looked to Ashton, dark eyes narrowing as he studied her.

"What the hell does he mean by 'my girlfriend'? He isn't referring to you, is he?" Ashton pulled herself to her full five feet four and a half inches and took Edgar's hand. She met Jasper's black eyes and took a deep breath.

"Yes, he is. I am Edgar's girlfriend, and I have been for about a month now." Looking up from Jasper's red face to Edgar's pale face, she smiled her first real smile in months as she gave Edgar's hand a loving squeeze. Without another word to Jasper, she started back to the _Northwestern_'s rail with Edgar close behind. Jake leaned down and gripped her hand, pulling her aboard as Edgar placed his hands on her hips and lifted her up. On a sudden impulse, Edgar turned to the spluttering Jasper and slammed his clenched fist into the man's face; ignoring the blood splattered across his pant legs and the throbbing in his fist, Edgar glared down at Jasper as he clenched his shattered nose.

"Come near my boat or my Ashton again, and won't be as lucky as you are right now! I swear to _God_ I will fuck you over worse than you tried doing to us!" Turning on his heel, he left Jasper doubled over on the docks and climbed aboard, joining Ashton and Jake near the ready room hatch.

The three friends disappeared inside the boat, leaving Jasper swearing and raving until security came to drag him away. Sig watched from the wheelhouse as two uniformed men pulled the bleeding Fish and Game ranger from the docks. A satisfied smile remained on his lips for the remainder of the night, the sight warming him nearly as much as the sight of his youngest brother's happy face two weeks ago.

The _Northwestern_ was bustling with activity as the crew scrambled to finish clearing the deck of equipment, the galley of left over supplies, and the staterooms of personal affects before they joined up with friends for dinner later that night. Ashton assured her crewmates that she could take care of the majority of the indoor work, but finally gave in to Edgar's insisting. As she scrubbed dirty dishes, she glanced over at Jake drying them in silence. She caught his look and smiled a small smile before turning back to the dishes. Passing him the last plate, she pulled the plug on the dirty water and stuck her hands underneath the running rinse water.

Sig locked up the wheelhouse doors, shutting off lights as he went below deck. He laughed as he watched Jake flick water from his fingers into Ashton's face, causing her to gasp in mock shock and swat at him with the hand towel.

"Okay, kids, settle down. Go get changed; it's almost time to head over to the bar for dinner." Edgar and Norman met them at their stateroom door as the four went to change into nicer, and cleaner, clothes.

Turning her back to the three men, Ashton quickly changed into fresh underwear and pants before she pulled her shirt over her head with a sharp gasp. She felt three pairs of eyes turn to stare at the still ugly bruise covering her left side from elbow to hip. Gingerly, she applied a new layer of deodorant under each arm before changing into a fresh bra and blouse.

When she went into the tiny water closet, she heard Jake call in to her, "I can help with your hair if you want. I've had lots of practice you know, from my five sisters and all."

"Thanks Jake, I just might take you up on that." By the time they were all ready, after Jake assisting with Ashton's hair and the five crewmen insisting she apply at least a little of the makeup Edgar had gotten her when they stopped to fill her prescriptions, an hour had passed before the seven man crew piled into two vehicles and made their way down to the bar.

****

Two mornings later, as the Northwestern made her way down to Seattle for engine repairs, Ashton was up early and the sat-phone's ringing was almost deafening in the silence. Heart pounding, she answered and prayed none of the crew entered the wheelhouse. Her eyes were wide with disbelief as the nurse told Ashton the results of the blood and urine tests. Ashton confirmed the address where the results could be mailed and thanked her for calling.

She closed her eyes against the tears welling up in her eyes; tears spilled through her eyelashes as she pondered how to tell Edgar the news. _I'm pregnant; oh God, I'm pregnant._

Copyright Alissa Franko 2009

* * *


	10. Chapter 10: Leap Of Faith

Author's Note: Nanno and Pappy Sharpe were my maternal great-great-great-great grandparents from Ireland. Ashton, her mother, Jasper, and any other character not featured on Deadliest Catch are my own creations. Sorry, but I couldn't resist the evil temptation to create a cliffhanger! It was just too much fun to do otherwise. I swear you will learn the answer in the next chapter. Constructive criticisms and reviews are most welcome and appreciated.

****

With the Opilio season officially over for the crew of the _Northwestern_ and both cameramen, Sig was on the sat-phone in the wheelhouse while his crew watched Jake and Ashton play a game on the X-Box. Thanking the person on the other end, he descended the wheelhouse stairs with a pleased smile.

"I just got off the phone with someone from Alaska Fish and Game. Apparently they had received a phone call early this morning from a field officer of theirs wanting to file a grievance against one of their supervisors. The person I spoke with had mentioned an internal investigation against the supervisor and discovered we were the only crew that Jasper had singled out over the past couple years." Sig shot a glance to the pale-faced Ashton, who took sudden interest in a herring stain on the front of her shirt. Clearing his throat he continued,

"So now he's been fired and charged with fraud and harassment. Since nobody saw Edgar deck him, it was Jasper's word against ours, so we won't be seeing that bastard for a very long time. He won't be able to hurt you again." The last was aimed directly at Ashton, who nodded appreciatively.

"Serves him right…damn selfish, greedy, stuck up bastard. Everyone said he was just a jackass with a rotted stick stuck up his ass." A faint smile touched Ashton's lips as the others laughed at her description and she finally tore her gaze from the TV screen. She looked down and focused her attention on taking a sip of her coffee, knowing all eyes were on her. Setting her mug down, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before turning her gaze to Edgar.

"Edgar, can I um, can I talk to you in private? In the wheelhouse maybe?" She shot a questioning glance to Sig, who shrugged his agreement, before looking back at Edgar. The deck boss studied Ashton carefully, confused by the question coming out of nowhere. He nodded silently, heart beginning to pound as he speculated on what she would want to talk about away from the others. Climbing the stairs behind her, he watched as she sat in the captain's chair, pulling her legs up to hug them to her chest. Without looking at David, Edgar pointed to the staircase and muttered a single word: "Out."

Raising his dark eyebrows, David made a hasty retreat down the staircase. Leaning against the bare chart table, Edgar once again studied Ashton's nervous face. When the silence dragged on, he tried prying the information from her.

"Did you hear back from the clinic in Dutch Harbor yet? About the test results, I mean?" Ashton took a shaky breath and nodded, licking her lips nervously as she met Edgar's encouraging gaze.

"The tests came back…." Swallowing hard, she tried to fight the tears that suddenly filled her eyes and turned away to stare out the windows. Taking several deep breaths, she continued with a shaky voice. "The tests came back positive. Edgar, I'm pregnant. Edgar, I'm pregnant and I don't know if I even still have a job waiting for me when I get back to Anchorage! What am I going to do? My mother doesn't even know yet…she doesn't even know I was out fishing this season! And Nanno and Pappy Sharpe! What will they –?"

Edgar closed the distance between them as Ashton started rambling and, turning the chair, he gently gripped her face in both hands and kissed her deeply. Keeping his face close to hers, he took a couple deep breaths before kissing her again, this time more gently. Finally, he pulled away and stepped back. When he spoke, his hushed voice was thick with excitement.

"Ashton, we're going to have a baby! _Our_ baby is growing inside you! When we get to Seattle, you can tell your mom, Nanno and Pappy the news in person. They're going to be so happy for you." The excitement of Ashton's announcement had him trembling and he couldn't stop the grin from brightening his face. Stepping close to her again, he slid his arms around her and held her close, pressing his lips to the top of her head in a tender kiss before whispering softly into her hair, "I'm so proud of you. I love you so much."

A soft knock brought Edgar's head turning and he smiled as Sig entered the wheelhouse. Edgar pulled away again from Ashton, who sniffled and wiped her eyes. She returned the Hansen brothers' grins and laughed as she took Sig's outstretched hand.

"Judging from the silly-assed grin plastered on Edgar's face, I take it you got some good news back from the clinic. Congratulations!" Sig pulled her into a warm hug as her nod confirmed his suspicions. Stepping away, the skipper turned to his brother as he changed places with Ashton.

"Told you I owed you a beer, didn't I?" Sig laughed as Ashton gave him a playful punch on the arm, followed immediately by a hug when he added, "Seriously though, I'm proud of you both. You guys need anything, just call me." He ruffled Ashton's hair playfully before she moved away and turned back to face the ocean. The sounds of the crew congratulating Edgar and Ashton warmed his heart and the skipper thought to himself, _this is the perfect ending to a crazy-assed season. I'm going to be an uncle!_

****

Standing at the helm, Sig's brows furrowed together in concentration as he guided the Northwestern into her appointed space at the docks in Seattle, half-watching Edgar slip the fender buoy between the bow and dock as Norman and Nick jumped over the rail to secure the lines. The next half-hour was spent finishing last minute packing and cleaning before the crew could finally greet their waiting families.

Slinging his duffel bag across his shoulders, Edgar grabbed up Ashton's bag before she could even bend over. He planted a swift yet loving kiss on her mouth before shooing her through the ready room and onto the deck. Depositing both bags onto the deck, he heard a woman's voice calling Ashton and watched as Ashton beamed happily, waving down to them and he joined her at the rail.

"Lets go say hi, and give them the news." Climbing over the rail, he waited with outstretched arms as Norman helped her over the rail and into his arms. Lowering her down, Edgar followed her to where her family stood waiting. Extending a calloused hand as Ashton introduced him, he shook the three Sharpes' hands with a warm smile. Ashton's mother, Anna, smiled warmly at Edgar, relaxing as her motherly fears subsided fractionally; loosing contact with her only child for four months had kept the woman up at night. Pappy kept a firm grip on Edgar's hand as the thin, bald man stared up at him with clear blue eyes.

"Have ye had yer way wit her, lad? I'll give ye what fer if'n ye've harmed a hair on mah wee granddaughter's head." Edgar blushed and swallowed hard as he struggled to formulate an answer. Thankfully, Ashton came to his aid just in time.

"Pappy! Edgar's taken very fine care of me!" Pappy shot her a look filled with mock insult and gaped playfully at her as he withdrew his hand from Edgar's.

"Can the boy-o not answer fer himself? Eh, lass? Tell me, lad, does she now do all yer answerin' fer ye, hmm? Well, speak up lad!?" Unsure of what to make of the unusual situation, Edgar merely shook his head as he found his voice.

"No-No sir. I can answer for myself. I, um..." His voice trailed off and he cleared his throat uncomfortably as he glanced around the docks nervously before continuing, "It's more like she's had her way with me, sir." Nanno reached up from her wheelchair and swatted Pappy's arm as he started cackling at Edgar's uneasy reaction before waving a reassuring hand at the deck boss.

"Never ye mind him, lad. He's a harmless old coot who can't see past the end o' his nose." Shooting a wry glance at Ashton, she crooked a finger at Edgar who knelt down to let the elderly woman whisper in his ear.

"I've seen many a bonny lass wit a glow like yon girl's about her. Ye'll have a bonny wee babe afore yuletide. A healthy bonny child, make ye no doubt." Seeing him swallow hard and the guilt flashing in his brown eyes, Nanno laughed gently and patted his cheek comfortingly.

"I saw the look ye give her, and the way ye hold her. Ye'll do fine, ye'll make a fine father fer yer babe. Ye take yer time in tellin' Anna and Pappy though. Yer surprise tis safe wit me." She laughed again at the relief flooding his expression and turned her hazel eyes over his shoulder. Edgar turned to see who she was looking at and stood as his brothers approached with his and Ashton's bags in hand. Glancing at Ashton, he decided to introduce Sig and Norman to her great-great-grandmother.

After both Sig and Norman gently shook the frail woman's hand, they turned and were introduced to her husband and granddaughter. Looking to Ashton, Sig aimed a thumb at the three crewmen and their families.

"We were all going to go meet up for dinner in a couple hours before we went home. Would you and your family like to join us? Besides, I figure I might as well pay up to Edgar sooner rather than later." The skipper laughed as Pappy's face brightened at the mention of dinner.

"Oh, aye! Lead the way, lad and we'll meet ye there! I've this fearful hunger all of a sudden." Exchanging an amused look with his brothers at the scrawny man's comments, Edgar turned to Ashton with a knowing smile.

"I guess we now know where you get your hyperactive metabolism from." Ashton swatted at him with a smile as everyone laughed. Agreeing to meet at a nearby restaurant in two hours, the _Northwestern_'s crew split up to spend time together before meeting up later that evening.

****

An hour before meeting the others at the restaurant, Edgar drove by the apartment Ashton shared with her mother and great-grandparents. With a trembling hand, he knocked on the door and shoved it back into the pocket of his nice corduroy jacket. Anna answered the door and ushered Edgar in with a welcoming smile.

"Can I take your jacket? We still have some time before we wanted to leave, but I think Ashton was just about ready to call you." Clearing his throat nervously, Edgar shook his head.

"No thank you. I, uh, actually wanted to see if I could borrow Ashton for a while before we met everyone at the restaurant. There was something I needed to ask her, privately, if that were alright?" Following Anna into the kitchen, he saw Pappy sitting at the table and something occurred to him. He rubbed the back of his neck, the nervous tension tying knots in his stomach as he glanced back at Anna and asked, "Um, can I speak with Mr. Sharpe in private for a moment?"

Anna nodded and went into the back of the apartment to help Nanno and Ashton finish getting ready for dinner as Edgar went to join Pappy at the table. Setting his newspaper down, Pappy indicated that the younger man take the seat opposite him.

"Well, lad? What tis it that ye'd like to have a word about? It wouldn't be about our Ashton, would it now?" He asked with a knowing smile and wink, getting a genuine smile and laugh from Edgar. Edgar took his hands from his pockets and swallowed hard, taking a deep, shaky breath before answering.

"Actually, it is about Ashton. You see, I love her very much, and I have for a while now. I, I would like to marry her, sir, and I would like to have your blessing. I'm a crab fisherman, and I'm gone for most of the year, but since I met Ashton this past January, I realized I want to spend what time I have home with her. I know I'm nine years older than she is, but I love her. I can't get her out of my thoughts." Pausing to take another shaky breath, Edgar pressed his shaking hands flat against the Formica tabletop and continued.

"My I have your great-great-granddaughter's hand in marriage? Please?" His pounding heart thudded against his ribs so violently that it felt as though it were trying to burst from his chest. Pappy must have seen the fear and desperation in Edgar's eyes because his narrow face softened into a jubilant grin and offered the youngest Hansen brother a skeletal and calloused hand, which Edgar took with a heavy sigh of relief.

"I respect a man whose hands tell the story of his trade, and yers tis an honorable one. I like a man who takes the time to ask an old man fer the hand of his only great great granddaughter. I welcome the man who looks at me great great granddaughter as if she'd hung the moon and scattered the stars. Welcome to me family, lad, God bless ye." Leaning in close to Edgar, he whispered to him with a wink.

"Now that ye know me answer, go ask yer bonny love if she'd have ye as a husband."

****

"Why are we back here at the boat? I thought we were going to meet everyone at the restaurant?" A confused Ashton followed Edgar onto the dark _Northwestern_. Stopping in the middle of the deck, bathed in pale silver moonlight, he turned to face Ashton and looked into her eyes as he took both her hands in his. Voice trembling, he began to speak softly.

"I wanted to ask you something, something very important. You know we had one hell of a season this year and things didn't go exactly as we all had hoped. When we first left Dutch Harbor at the start of the season, I never dreamed I would be standing here about to take this leap." Going down onto one knee, Edgar stared up at her, taking another steadying breath before asking the one question he'd been dying to ask for two months, "Ashton McNeill, will you please take that leap with me…will you have me for your husband? Will you marry me? Please?"

* * *

Copyright Alissa Franko 2009


	11. Chapter 11: Where I'm Meant To Be

Author's Note: I made an attempt a fisherman's humor further in this chapter…a fry is another name for a baby fish. So, yeah, the baby is being affectionately referred to as a baby fish. You'll have to tell me if you get the joke…I thought it was kinda funny in a cute way. I felt it were only appropriate to honor Edgar, Norman and Sig's dad, so I borrowed his name to use for one of the baby's middle names: Brian Joseph Sverre Hansen. Yes, the Angela mentioned in the letter is Matt's real life Angela. For the sake of this story, they're already married. (They're just too cute together to resist.) This is the final chapter for "Confused Seas". Thank you all so much for reading and thanks for the reviews. I'm working on my next _Northwestern_ inspired fanfic.

****

Giving Ashton's hand a squeeze, his beaming smile brightened as he felt the warm band around her finger against his own fingers. He stood, clearing his throat anxiously and the people around the table fell silent. Edgar gazed down at Ashton, who took it as her cue to rise next to him. He wrapped an arm around her waist and grinned out at his friends and their families.

"We have a couple things we'd like to announce. Um, first off…Ashton and I are getting married. We, uh, want to have the wedding on the _Northwestern_ next May and we want the crew to be the groomsmen. Matt and Angela, we want you to be the best man and maid of honor." Silent surprise greeted the couple and, as Edgar's grin faltered, Ashton spoke up quickly before her own courage completely failed.

"About a week ago I found out that…that me and Edgar, we're going to have a baby." Glancing down at her mother and great-great grandparents, guilt finally won over her happiness. A tear spilled down her cheek as she fought to control the tremor in her voice and continued, "I didn't know how to tell you. I wanted to tell you as soon as I got home, but then I was afraid of what you'd say." Anna reached up, taking her daughter's hands in her own; she pulled Ashton back down to her chair and wrapped her arms around her trembling shoulders in a comforting embrace.

"Oh, sweetie! We are so proud of you! My baby girl is getting married and having a baby of her own! Oh, I am so happy!" Anna's tearful exclamation broke the stunned silence and Matt got up to grab the waiter for a bottle of champagne. When the waiter returned with glasses for everyone, he served everyone save Ashton the chilled beverage while a fellow waiter served her sparkling cider. The remainder of the meal was forgotten as the _Northwestern_ family toasted the couple. Edgar leaned over to Ashton and whispered into her ear, giving her earlobe a gentle nibble.

"I told you they would be happy for us! How could they not be?" Ashton laughed and squirmed under his teasing touch, leaning away as her jaw and neck tingled as his teeth tickled sensitive nerves. Glancing over, Ashton saw Nanno's approving grin and she blushed deeply. She turned back to Edgar, leaning in to whisper back, "They're watching us; we should finish this later." Edgar grinned into her neck, kissing her at the base of her jaw before pulling away again.

****

The next several weeks passed by rapidly for Ashton as she divided her days between preparing herself for her and Edgar's baby, their wedding, and figuring out her job situation. Before she knew it, her bag was packed and she found herself at the airport with Edgar saying a temporary goodbye to her family. Ashton had canceled her appointment with the clinic in Dutch Harbor in favor of visiting her doctor in Anchorage. Sig and Norman had joined them at the airport to wish their brother and soon to be sister-in-law a fond farewell.

"Good luck you two. Call me anytime if you need _any_thing, all right? I'll miss you, Half-Pint." Sig wrapped her in a bear hug and planted a brotherly kiss on the top of her head before pulling away to give his youngest brother a proud hug. Norman gave Ashton a gentler, yet equally proud hug as he gave her some parting advice.

"Take care of yourself up there. Like Sig said, if you need anything-anything at all-you can call me at anytime." Ashton buried her face into Norman's chest as she was suddenly overcome with emotion. He rubbed her back comfortingly as he gave his brothers an awkward glance. A moment passed and Ashton gently pulled herself from his embrace.

"Sorry, I don't know what came over me. I…" Her voice trailed off as a female voice announced that her and Edgar's flight into Anchorage was currently boarding for their seats. With a final embrace from Sig and Norman, Edgar and Ashton walked down the plane's gangway and claimed their seats.

****

Arriving back in Anchorage, Ashton discovered that not only did she have her job waiting for her, but also somehow the news of her pregnancy had found its way into the office where she'd worked the previous winter. When she first entered the floor where her cubicle awaited her, she was immediately bombarded with cheers and friendly greetings.

Now, two months after the end of the Opilio season, Ashton sat staring at her computer screen. A blank Word document stared back at her, the cursor blinking back at her as she fought to find the words she needed. Her official statement was needed in writing, describing the events beginning with her promotion to working the field through to the day the _Northwestern_ docked in Seattle.

She picked up the small, plush crab Edgar had given her the night he left to go salmon tendering. Stroking the velvety fabric, her eyes glazed over as she remembered her time aboard the _Northwestern_. A soft rap on the side of her cubicle brought Ashton flinching from her reverie and she twisted around in her chair. The curly haired teenager from the mailroom handed her a small stack of mail and hesitated a moment, an obvious question on his mind.

"So, I heard you were on one of them boats from "Deadliest Catch". What was it like? I mean, were they totally hard-core, badass dudes like they get shown on the TV?" Ashton smiled; Drake wasn't the first person to ask her those questions.

"Yeah, I was on the _Northwestern_. It was tough being out there; crab fishing is a lot harder than it looks, especially during the Opilio season. The crew was just as tough, but they're a family. They're as tough as they need to be, but they take care of each other too." Drake leaned across the mail cart and studied Ashton a moment as she gazed fondly at the toy in her hands.

"You really love him, don't you? You're like one of them soul mates my great-aunt always talks about. Y'know, like there's only one person out there you're _meant_ to be with? That's what she says…" Ashton laughed gently as Drake trailed off awkwardly. She nodded as she set the toy crab back next to the web cam mounted on her computer monitor.

"I really love him. I don't know about soul mates, but I can't imagine my life without Edgar in it now. I should get back to work, but thanks for the mail and the chat." Drake gave her a halfhearted wave as he finished his rounds and Ashton turned to open her mail. Recognizing Edgar's handwriting on the last envelope, she eagerly ripped it open and pulled out the letter.

_'Hey Half-Pint! Nick, Jake and Norman send their love and ask how you and the Little Fry are holding up without us. We'll be heading back to Dutch in late July to get the gear switched over to do some cod in August, but then I think I'll get off and spend some time with you before Kings start up in October._

_'I miss you; I dream of you every time I sleep and think of you every waking moment. It drives Norman crazy since I'm supposed to be skipper, but I can't help myself. I've burned dinner at least twice already this trip because I keep thinking about what comment you might have waiting._

_'Matt is off with Angela on vacation somewhere in Florida, and Sig is out doing charity work and promoting the fishery. I haven't talked to them in a while, but that's the way things are. Last time I talked to them, though, they also send their love to you and Little Fry._

_'Norman is griping at me again, so I better get this in the mail before he shoves me into a cod pot when we get them on board. I love you, and I'll see you in a couple months. Send my love to Mom, Nanno, and Pappy. And Little Fry too._

_'I love you. Edgar.'_

Wiping a tear from her eyes, she pressed the letter to her tender chest and sighed. A hand slid down to rub her belly, which was beginning to show subtle signs of her pregnancy. She pinned the letter to the side of her cubicle, next to a snapshot of Edgar holding her close, and turned back to her blank computer monitor. Her fingers flew over the keyboard, as she suddenly knew how to word her report.

****

Waiting out on deck in the early morning light, Edgar nervously played with the tie at his throat as he scanned the small gathering before him. It was a small, private affair with just family and close friends attending. In his whole life, Edgar had only felt as nervous as he did now just once before: the night he'd knelt to his knee in this very spot the previous spring and asked Ashton to marry him.

His brown eyes settled on the infant cradled in his arms and a look of pure joy brightened his face. The five-month-old boy's head was crowned with thick auburn hair and his baby blues sparkled in delight at his father's loving grin.

"Well, Brian Joseph Sverre Hansen, are you ready to see your mom again?

Laughing as his son gripped his finger in both his tiny hands, Edgar looked up as the music started playing from the beat up CD player hidden behind the block. The guests rose as the hatch leading into the ready room opened and the world disappeared as Ashton stepped out into the sunlight, Pappy Sharpe's reedy arm threaded through hers. As Pappy exchanged Ashton's arm for little Brian, the baby cooed happily and reached a tiny hand out to his mother in greeting. The men standing before them laughed at their friends' doting grins.

Clearing his throat, Sig began the ceremonies. Edgar barely heard his brother's words as he stared into Ashton's eyes, his voice trembling with nervous excitement as he repeated his vows and slipped the wedding band onto her finger; he felt his heart melt as he heard Ashton's eager voice repeat hers before slipping the matching band onto his finger. With a huge grin, he cupped her face in his hands and the roaring cheers of the _Northwestern_'s crew could be heard across the harbor as they sealed their loving vows with a kiss.

****

Slipping out of the stateroom, Ashton ascended the wheelhouse stairs. Wrapping her arms around Edgar's waist, she rested her cheek against his back and closed her eyes with a content sigh. She felt his hand slip into hers and close with a gentle squeeze. The world outside was bathed in pale moonlight and the sight took Edgar back to the night he proposed.

"Brian's asleep in my bunk. I think he might just stay asleep for the rest of the night. What brings you up here at this hour?" Loosening her grip as Edgar turned around to face her, she stared into his eyes and smiled as he leaned down to kiss her neck.

"I couldn't sleep. I'm still too excited to sleep. I love you, I always will." His whispered words tickled her skin and she giggled softly. Laughing with her, Edgar turned back to face the peaceful water before him. Ashton rested her head against his chest as she followed his gaze through the large wheelhouse windows and silence enveloped the couple. The pale moonlight and stars reflected off the calm waters of the Seattle docks where the Northwestern was moored, oblivious to the new husband and wife standing in a pool of silvery-blue light.

True to her word, Brian slept through the remainder of the night and as the dawn's first glow brightened the sky before them, Edgar glanced down at Ashton dozing on the bench beside him. He rose slowly as he heard his son waken and softly begin to fuss, moving quietly down to gather the still sleepy infant into his arms. Carrying Brian back into the wheelhouse, father and son sat next to Ashton to watch the new day begin. A peaceful smile once again brightened his sleepy face and he turned back to face the sunrise. A new day was dawning for the youngest Hansen brother, and a sudden thought warmed his soul.

_I'm right where I've always wanted to be. I've got my wife and my son with me, a boat to work on, and my brothers and crew to help me. I've got everything I've ever wanted...I'm right where I'm _meant_ to be._

* * *

Copyright Alissa Franko 2009


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